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azaprocky · 6 months ago

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┃ pairings ➣ 〔 ❛ nijiro murakami x fem!reader ❜ 〕

┃ summary ➣ 〔 ❛ Love is something that keeps people together; it brings happiness to everyone, however can it still be called love if you feel so unseen and so alone? this is a story that tell us how some people can make you feel that you're not so alone in this cruel world but can also make you feel so undesirable to the point that it slowly drains you and you had no choice but to let go.❜ 〕

┃ face claim ➣ 〔 ❛ Jeon Soyeon ❜ 〕

┃ warnings ➣ 〔 ❛ cheating allegations, cancel culture, su1cide attempt, depression, mistreatment, exploitation and cursing ❜ 〕

┃ mentioning ➣ 〔 ❛ Kento Yamazaki, (G)-idle members, Hwang In-Yeop, Ikeda Elaiza, Nana Komatsu, Masaki Usada and Aina The End ❜ 〕

We all know the famous quote "Right person, Wrong time" ... imagine you met someone you truly see your future with but destiny decided to go against you, but have you heard of the line "it hurts to be something it's worse to be nothing with you" from "Promise" by Laufey, it perfectly describes how a person let go of a someone they truly love because they felt like the love is not there anymore and it's slowly but surely draining them however there's a place in their heart that still longs so much for the presence of that certain someone, it's weird right?

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I didn't think you'd understand me, How could you ever even try?

(Y/n) entered her apartment where her boyfriend Nijiro was also staying, in the vibrant and modern Gangnam-gu after a long tiring session in the studio for their comeback "Superlady".

"Sweetheart?" She called out as her eyes roam around the apartment removing her shoes, after a few minutes no voice was heard "weird" she whispered to herself so she decided to enter the living room because maybe Nijiro is so immersed in a video game or an anime but when she finally reached her expecting to see Nijiro slumped in the white coach with a headphone on his head while hugging couch pillow and her coffee table full of snacks.

But instead she saw a bouquet of her favorite flowers, a letter and an expensive necklace laid on the coffee table, (Y/n) slowly walked to the coffee table and bent down to reach the letter, she breathed deeply before opening it, it was quite a long letter with a bit messy but readable writing, it was clear that Nijiro wrote this, the letter contains;

To my sunshine,

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It's Nijiro, if it isn't obvious... I know I'm not the type of person to write letters but I just don't know how to say this to you personally — I'm afraid of what you'll say to me, I'm afraid that I'll be a burden to you since I know during this time you're busy with recording and stuff... But to say the point of this letter I left... I left your apartment, South Korea and maybe this relationship, I know that I sound like an asshole right now but please let me explain.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ These past few days I felt so down, I feel like I want to end my life, I wanted to seek help at you but I didn't want to, I was afraid of being ignored like the many times you ignored my pleads for help... remember last week when I called you and my voice was shaking, I almost attempted at your apartment and at that moment all I wanted was you... but you said you're busy so I faked a smile and assured you, at that moment I felt alone I didn't felt like I was in a relationship with someone who love me, I sound so selfish but gosh, it hurts (Y/n), so much.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ So today I decided leave, to not look back, I felt like you didn't understand that I was having a hard time to stay alive right now...that you didn't understand how much I need you right now, I always tried to understand you and your career oriented lifestyle but this time I will put myself and understand myself more.

( ps. The necklace is supposed to be my gift for you for our upcoming anniversary, its contains the coordinate of the vacation house we always wanted in Jeju, I hope that will bring you happiness :] )

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ love, Nijiro

(Y/n) dropped the letter breaking down on the floor of her apartment, she felt so dissapointed at her self-how could she be so selfish?! She wanted to call Nijiro but it was too late, she knew that once Nijiro makes up his mind it will be the last time.

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Just wanna let this story die, And I'll be alright

your.username uploaded a new post!

your.username

liked by konichan7, noodle.zip, min.nicha and 2,698,597 others

your.username ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ '슈퍼레이디' MV 공개! 우리를 위한 새로운 시대 슈퍼레이디 + 제주덤프 😉🥂 (‘Superlady’ MV is released! a new era for us Super Ladies + Jeju Dump)

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gidleyuqilovx ‎ ‎ mother's glowing for some reason, idfk and idgaf, wishing you guys a successful comeback!

noodle.zip ‎ ‎ 제주를 즐기시기 바랍니다, 보고 싶습니다! 🥰☀️ (I hope you are enjoying Jeju, we miss you!)

liked by creator!

nijidlelvr ‎ ‎ wtf? that's weird... Nijiro didn't like (Y/n)'s post?? did they broke up?

idlemincha ‎ ‎ right??! he always likes her post minutes after posting

jungjison 넌 빛나고 있어 (Y/n) 언니!! 😍😍

(you're glowing, (y/n) unnie!!)

njr_mk uploaded a story!

( Translation: A new beginning, a chance to prioritize yourself :) )

(Y/n) heard the knock from the meeting room, she sighed deeply before standing up, her manager looked at you and said:

"(Y/n) you ready?" Her manager asked, she just nodded nervously, she was unsure this was the right idea; her and Nijiro's relationship are one of the popular and beloved couple in both the Korean and Japanese entertainment industry she didn't want to ruin their supporters' heart however she cannot change her mind now when everything has been set and planned so she just sighed deeply when her manager stood up to greet (G)-Idle's publicist.

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Me and my truth, we sit in silence, 'Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite, My tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die.

(G)-Idle's (Y/n) and Nijiro Murakami had broken up after 3 years of being in a relationship as reported by Cube Entertainment earlier this day.

(Y/n) and Nijiro Murakami started dating back in 2021, based on reports the two had met in a party organized by a common friend in 2019, the two were close friends before becoming lovers. September of 2021 the two was confirmed to be dating and is in a long distance relationship.

The two was also nicknamed by both k-netz and international fans as the asian version of the former couple, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn; a lot had l said that the former couple, (Y/n) and Nijiro, was a refreshing combination and would last a lifetime.

However, everyone was shocked when Cube Entertainment released a statement that the couple has recently called it quits:

❝

two months ago our artist, (G)-Idle's (Y/n) and Japanese Actor Nijiro Murakami had decided to go their seperate ways because of their busy schedules; the break up was mutually decide, please respect their privacy.

— Cube Entertainment, February 01, 2024.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❞

Decade, The agency of Nijiro Murakami, still hasn't released a statement.

Some fans already figured out that they broke up after a cryptic story posted by Nijiro a week ago.

Source: [1] [2]

Nijiro is in his trailer getting ready for his shooting today for Alice in Borderland season 3 when the break up article was posted.

He's currently scrolling through his phone peacefully when suddenly his manager rushed to his side to show him the article, "Is this serious, why didn't she consult us first before releasing this statement?!" His manager said in a anxious tone clearly afraid of what will be the assumptions of the fans will make for his client.

"It's fine, Toshio-san, (Y/n) actually reached out to me before releasing the announcement, I was the one who approved about what will be said and what will not" Nijiro answered calmly putting his phone down at the vanity "I don't want to release any statements please, because I don't want to feed to mountain full of theories made by her fans or my fans, I want protect my peace right now and what truly happened between us to be private" he added in a serious tone, a sigh left his mouth when his manager started listing things off to try to convince him to release a statemnt

"Toshio-san, it's fine, we're gonna be fine, I just wanna move on okay?" Nijiro smiled assuringly before going back on his phone, his manager just nodded clearly defeated from the argument.

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Know that you made me, I don't like how you paint me

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It's something like a daydream, But I feel so seen in the night

First encounter, september 2019

Upbeat music and echoes of laughter filled the residence of Kento Yamazaki in Tokyo, Yamazaki is celebrating his first ever nextflix series, Alice in Borderland, the party is filled by recognizable actors and actresses like Suda Masaki, Nana Komatsu, Kiko Mizuhara, Dori Sakurada and others, Yamazaki's guests can be seen dancing and drinking in different spots of his living room, but one of Yamazaki's most close friend is missing and that's (Y/n) who felt a bit out of place and decided to walk around the actor's property.

(Y/n) decided to go to the backyard when she saw that there's no one in there and since she wanted to breath for a moment but when she arrived at the backyard, to her suprise, (Y/n) saw a guy with medium length black hair wearing a gray polo with a white shirt underneath and black pants who seems like smoking and hanging out by the porch swing, she contemplated to either go back to the party or be with this stranger and after a few minutes of thinking this may be unlike her...but she decided to rather be with a random guy than a party that makes her head hurt from all the loudness.

As she walks closely, the sound of her heels on the concrete tile on the backyard couldn't help but be heard by Nijiro who's now sighing, feeling the presence of another person so he reluctantly decided to drop his cigarettes on the floor and step on it, he's not someone who smokes regularly since he only does this when he's bored and sometimes overwhelmed , "Sorry to disturb you but I just really need to get away fromthe party" (Y/n) said with a bit of punctured japanese, she knew how to speak Japanese since her dad is Japanese however she wasn't used in speaking in that language; (Y/n) felt a little embarrassed feeling like she may be disturbing someone who's wanting some peace of mind like her "No, it's fine" Nijiro replied sighing again as he looks up to fully face the woman in front of him and the first thought that came to his mind was "wow, she looks foreign and... pretty" he looks at her a bit longer than normal

"Why are you here anyway?" He asked the girl clearing his throat and looking at the pool Infront of them as he noticed himself staring at her so much "I felt a bit out of place there, I'm not really close with anyone there except Nana and Kento" she answered sitting at the porch swing beside him but leaving enough space for them to not touch each other, "Same, im not really the one for partying too—how'd you know Kento by the way?" He replied now looking at the girl beside him he was clearly curious how'd she know Kento because this was the first time to see her on one of his close friends.

"Well, this may be a suprise but we're f*ck buddies" (Y/n) said that in the most convincing voice she could master, of course she was joking she met Kento during her childhood days because Kento's house and her grand parents' house was beside each other. Nijiro faced form a face of disbelief, it was he was shocked and couldn't bring himself to speak, however his face turn into confusion when (Y/n) laughed "you actually believed that?! I'm just joking, we're childhood friends" she said "is it okay if I said I was relieved? I was so shocked" Nijiro laughed "yeah, we're actually childhood friends, we met because during childhood his family's house and my grandparents home are neighbors" She continued as she looks at the sky above her

"You? How'd you know Kento?" She asked now looking at the guy beside him "Oh um, we're co stars at his Netflix series, it's mandatory for us casts to interact with each other" Nijiro answered "And I'm Nijiro, Nijiro Murakami, You?" He introduces himself since he was slightly taken a back being called "You" "Hi Nijiro, im (Y/n) (Y/l/n)" the girl Infront her introduces herself and for the second time Nijiro was shocked, he heard that name before "Wait, you're (G)-Idle's (Y/n)?! My sister is a big fan of your group!" Nijiro said shocked "oh really?" (Y/n) said shocked, she didn't knew or expected that someone from another is already a fan of their group

"Yeah, you're her favorite too" Nijiro continued laughing as he remembered the amount of time his sister speaks to him about (G)-idle, "So what's like being an idol?" He asked feeling abit awkward since the only sound can be heard was the trees and the water from the pool swaying from the cold night breeze "Stressful, it's something that both brings me joy and stress" the idol answered laughing slightly "How so?" Nijiro asked clearly confused "Well our company isn't really that supportive and sometimes we have to think of strategies that will help up whenever we have a comeback" she answered "especially I'm the leader so I felt like I'm the one who's responsible on anything that will happen" (Y/n) continued sighing, she was tired from all of the things she did like begging their CEO to give them some funds "Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that... but for me I really appreciate how you're so selfless, I admire that" the actor smiled comforting the woman Infront him in a way "You're great" he added "Thank you, Nijiro" (Y/n) was shocked and a little bit flustered

"How about you? What's your story?" the idol asked "Well, since I was young I was never really fond of being famous since that's one of the reasons my parents fought about but I don't know something switched and then I decided to audition and stuff... I wasn't really proud on some of my first roles" Nijiro answered his voice trailing off a bit "My first movies kind of exploited me and stuff—i don't really want to talk about that and like right now I feel like I'm not in control of things that's going on in my life" the actor continued his tone shifting to a more upset tone clearly dissapointed on what he become

"That's such a hellish experience to feel, I'm really sorry, I know that things will get better for you, you're really nice and I know nice people will experience nice things in their life sooner or later" the idol couldn't help but smile at the actor beside him while patting his back, she felt so sad hearing the story of the man who she thought got his life together "Thank y—" Nijiro was suddenly cut off when he heard Kento's voice "Aish Lovebirds! My party is not some dating place!" Kento said acting like he was angry but a smile was clearly plastered on his face "get inside now guys" after Kento had said that he left letting the two be

"Well let's head to that hell hole now, wish you luck" Nijiro joked as he stood up helping the woman beside him to stand up too "Thank you by the way, I really appreciate what you said" he added smiling "You're welcome and umm can I get your number? I really enjoyed talking to you" (Y/n) asked, this was the first time she asked for a guy's number she never felt so desperate

"oh yeah! Of course! I was about to ask you that to" Nijiro laughed as the Idol got her phone out of her pocket to get the actor's number.

Imagine an Actor and an Idol suddenly meeting up, different worlds had collided, different lives with different struggles but one thing that they both have in common is a fractured life, little did they know that they will both mend and heal each other's lives.

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So for now, it's only me and maybe that's all I need

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Wait for your love, Love, I'll wait for your love

"I really appreciate you guys coming to our concert" (Y/n) said, they are currently at the backstage of the concert venue after the concert, she once again hugged Nana, Masaki, Sora and Aina thanking them for attending her group's concert despite their busy schedules, she couldn't help but sneak a glance to Nijiro who's currently talking to Minnie and Yuqi.

As the four said their farewells to the other members, unfortunately for them, (Y/n) and Nijiro was left alone, the idol couldn't help but feel awkward with her former lover who's now looking at her from the other side of the room, Nijiro, on the other hand, is debating whether to approach her or just leave her be, after a few minutes he came to the conclusion that he should just take the opportunity to talk to her "Fuck it" he said approaching the idol, "Hey (Y/n), it's been awhile" Nijiro greeted (Y/n) a small smile appearing on his lips "Yeah it is" the idol answered a bit too emotionless, she wasn't exactly happy to see the actor but neither she's angry to see him.

"I just wanted to maybe invite you and your members to Reinbō Sukai Suteiburuzu in Okinawa, it's a thank you gift since you are the one who mostly designed the café... and the only person who had helped me to pursue this business" the actor got from his packet a beige card that contains the contact details "I will really appreciate if you can come" he continued smiling as (Y/n) took the call card from his hand

"Thanks, I'll ask them if they want to, I'll just call you — you haven't changed your number right?" (Y/n) asked a subtle smile is etched on her face, she couldn't help but feel happy on what Nijiro had said earlier "Yes" the man nodded "Well seems that we have to go, it's nice seeing you again, I'll be waiting for your call" Nijiro bid his farewell a big smile appears on his lips as him and his companions left the backstage

"So (Y/n), are we going or are we going?!" Minnie asked smiling, the members couldn't help but eavesdrop to the conversation that happened between their leader and her ex who also became their brother, "SAY YES!" Yuqi begged while Shuhua is squealing like a maniac also begging for their leader to say yes, "But it's your choice (Y/n)" Miyeon entered the conversation smiling at the younger girl assuringly "Sure" (Y/n) said sighing thinking that this would be a great way for her and her group members to bond and maybe rest after a long tiring week, hearing that the members squealed with Joy.

#nijiro murakami x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader #fem!reader #idol!reader #angst #bittersweet #gidle x reader #gidlemember #kpop x reader #japaneseactors #eternal sunshine #ariana grande #fic writing #oneshot

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whoseafraidofliloleme · 2 years ago

Text

Invisible Chapter 15

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Word Count: 2k + words

Sorry, this has been so long but this is the final chapter. Sorry for the wait and I hope the ending is satisfying for everyone.

This has been a journey and I loved writing this story. Thank you to everyone who showed interest in this little story of mine. This was my first written series and it's been the best time writing it. I'm sad it's ended, I probably won't be writing more True Beauty fanfic but I did love writing this very much.

Taglist: @thealexalcala @hayateotaku @tomihoekaeka @goatqueen3 @jeminiepabo @hiraeth-maximoff @yaomomvs @ghostfacefricker6969

True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 14.

Chapter 15.

Han Seo Jun couldn’t believe he was doing this. He had willingly called a class meeting. He was willingly calling these people he begrudgingly liked to discuss something. The things he did for you.

Then again, there were very few things he wouldn’t do for you. You had told him about the text and meeting Hae Sung. There was no way that Seo Jun was going to let you do this alone. You had the support of everyone in your class not just your best friends.

“So, everyone understands the plan, yes?” Seo Jun said looking at everyone in the class. They all nodded, understanding how important this was for YN and Seo Jun. It was well known how much the class hated Hae Sung and well anything they could do to help get him out of your life permanently they would do.

You were nervous going into school. Seo Jun had come all the way to your house, and you had gone to school together. Mi Soo Unnie gushing about how cute the two of you were the least of your worries at the moment.

Today was the day that you were going to confront Hae Sung. It terrified you to even think about it. But you knew it needed to happen. You couldn’t continue your life with Hae Sung in the shadows. Waiting to be let back in, knowing that he was behind so many rejections. Pulling the strings of your academic life without your knowledge. You wanted answers and you were determined to get them.

Walking into Saebom, your class and Hae Sung’s class did what they had been doing for months now. Helping you to avoid Hae Sung. You appreciated it, you knew you would not be able to handle seeing Hae Sung’s face before you needed to. As you walked into your classroom, you were surrounded by the girls giving you hugs and the boys shouting fighting. Confused you looked at Seo Jun who smirked and winked at you. Causing you to blush, making the whole class coo at how adorable you were.

The day was a slow one. For once you wouldn’t wait for the end of the day. It was the day to get answers from Hae Sung and the way the class was acting they were probably going to be around to help. Which you appreciated, then again you didn’t know how much of your personal laundry you wanted your classmates to know. In retrospect, there was too much your classmates already knew anyway, so did they know everything really matter?

That was an internal debate you could have later. You knew if you asked Seo Jun would scare your classmates into staying quiet and not saying anything about the confrontation. That made you feel bad though. Did that count as using your boyfriend? You didn’t know and for now, didn’t want to worry about it.

The end of the day came, and you were led to an empty classroom by Seo Jun, there you could see Si Woo and Hyun Ji with Jae Yi as well which was a surprise. You looked at him in shock, your mouth must’ve been open that you felt someone gently closing your mouth. You turned to look at Seo Jun and he just nodded his head.

“I would’ve told you, but Seo Jun wanted this to be a surprise Ynnie” Jae Yi told you. You looked at Seo Jun but again he wouldn’t give you an answer. You weren’t above begging Seo Jun to get answers from him but before you could, Cho Rong was heard shouting.

“Guys hurry up with the explanations Hae Sung is on his way” Looking around everyone nodded their head.

“I’m here as a witness and with the proof of what he did, plus Hyun Ji and Si Woo went through all the applications you filled in that were rejected as more proof. Our plan is to hit him with as much evidence as we can.” Jae Yi explained. You nodded your head before looking at Seo Jun and smiling at him.

He looked more nervous than you and that was saying something. To reassure him, you hugged Seo Jun tightly, just knowing he was here for you was reassuring. Seo Jun whispered in your ear, telling you that he was here and all you had to do was look out the door and wink at him. That was the sign for him to come in. Any moment you felt uncomfortable, just wink and he’ll be there.

“Well, isn’t this sweet, I didn’t come here to see you two hugging Han Seo Jun,” Hae Sung said as soon as he walked into the room. He had a smug smirk on his face like he knew this would all work out in his favour. Was he going to get the shock of his life then?

Seo Jun let go of you and gave you a peck on the lips. Then left the room, hitting Hae Sung with his shoulder on the way out of the room. That made you want to laugh but you knew that would just rile Hae Sung up and that was the last thing you wanted to do. So, you did a poor job of hiding your giggling behind a cough.

“So, you’ve kept a lot of things from me Hae Sung and I would like answers” You started strong, you were not going to let your fear of Hae Sung’s angry words get to you. That was not happening. You had a support system and sadly for Hae Sung, none of them was going to let him leave without telling you the truth of why he did what he did.

“I’ve kept nothing from you YN, my best friend. If anything, you’ve been distant. Hell, you told me that you couldn’t stand to be near me a few months ago” Hae Sung replied, looking you up and down. There was something different in the way you held yourself and he hated it. He heard Si Woo and Hyun Ji scoff at his words. He glared at them, but the two brats just smiled at him. Making him angrier. Why were the two of them even here, not to mention Jae Yi was here? Wasn’t he supposed to still be abroad? When did he come back and contact you?

“Kept nothing from me, sure I would’ve believed that last year but not anymore,” you said and then gestured for Jae Yi to start playing the video. You all turned towards the screen at the front of the classroom. Si Woo even offered you some popcorn which made you laugh but you took some anyway.

As the video played, you could see Hae Sung grow pale. His expression from a smug smirk to confusion to shock and then to disbelief at what he was watching. By the time the video ended, he was refusing to look you in the eyes. Looking anywhere in the room but at you. That was new, Hae Sung had never been afraid of confrontation but looks like being faced with the knowledge that you knew what he had done, scared him.

“Oh, that’s not all that I know Hae Sung. Jae Yi’s family were nice enough to have a Private Investigator delve into my whole academic history, to see if you and Kang So Hee had done this before and well you have. Practically my whole academic life has been controlled by the two of you” As you were saying this, Si Woo and Hyun Ji were putting papers up of all the applications that you’d filled out that had been rejected because of his mother Kang So Hee.

“I just want to know why Hae Sung, what was the point of doing all this? what did you achieve from any of this? Were my emotional breakdowns after being rejected multiple times funny to you? Did it amuse you that I was distraught over something that you had done” You cried to Hae Sung, you just wanted answers and if you were close to tears then so be it. Hae Sung is just silent. You want to shake him, anything to get answers from him.

“I had to do it YN. Do you realise how smart you are? All the applications, all these schools wanted you. It was a struggle to convince them to reject you. I hated to see the emotional breakdowns, but it was a price I had to pay. I need you close to me, all those schools, and opportunities would take you away from me and I couldn’t have that. I tried to keep you isolated from all our classmates.”

“That worked until you met Si Woo and Hyun Ji. I got used to those brats, but I couldn’t let you leave me. Jae Yi was an issue too and I had to get rid of him. It didn’t help that the summer you started dating, you had already rejected me and were pulling away. I had to do everything to keep you with me. I can’t handle anything without you and the only way I saw to keep you with me was to stop any and all opportunities you had that would mean you leave me” Hae Sung said and it took a lot out of him to admit all this to you. So much so that he just sat down in a chair.

All four of you are gobsmacked you couldn’t believe what you had heard. All of this just so you wouldn’t leave him. It didn’t make sense, nothing you had just heard made sense. You didn’t know how to react. All the things you had gone through with Hae Sung by your side, was any of it rule or just a way to make sure that you didn’t leave Hae Sung?

“All of this to make sure YN doesn’t leave you and it’s your behaviour that makes her leave you anyway. If I were you, Hae Sung, I’d go cry to your mother Kang So Hee and change schools, cause the minute this gets out, you’ll be hated more than you already are” Si Woo said calmly looking at Hae Sung with fire in his eyes.

“Too late, everyone already knows, part of the class plan was for me to call Seo Jun when Hae Sung starts confessing. No one will miss you Lee Hae Sung” Hyun Ji mentioned, pulling up her phone and nodding her head to Seo Jun who was at the door.

“Man, I knew you were messed up before and oddly territorial of YN while we were dating but this explains so much and it just makes you look so much worse” Jae Yi was disgusted, to think when he was dating YN, he did everything he could to get Hae Sung to approve of him. This guy needed help, but it was doubtful that he would get the help he needs considering his mother was already doing his bidding and covering for him.

“I never want to see you again Lee Hae Sung. Our friendship is done and dusted. Your control of my academic career is done. You’re lucky that I am not handing this stuff over to the police. Literally because of the good times but I am serious that if I see you again, I will hand this over to the police” you say peacefully. It had been long enough that you had stopped talking to Hae Sung. In the last few months, you had gotten used to not having Hae Sung in your life. You looked towards the door and winked at Seo Jun with a big smile on your face.

Seo Jun was confused but still came into the classroom, he was followed by the rest of your class and you couldn’t help but laugh at the way they all fell into the classroom. Seo Jun went to go fight with Hae Sung but seeing him in the chair looking very docile was weird. Seo Jun looked to you.

You smiled and motioned for Seo Jun to come over to you and to Seo Jun’s shock, you grabbed his collar, pulled him down to you and kissed him in front of everyone. You pulled away and laughed at the dazed look on Seo Jun’s face. Your friends were taking pictures claiming this was blackmail material.

“Last year, I wouldn’t have dared to confront you, Lee Hae Sung. If it hadn’t been for tutoring Seo Jun, I wouldn’t have grown closer to my classmates, realised just how toxic you are and literally, you’re the worst person, I don’t know how we didn’t fight before to the point of our friendship ending but my point is that I am better without you. I’m happy with my boyfriend, friends and family. I used to think that we were two idiots in a pod, platonic soulmates. I was wrong, were not soulmates, nothing you’ve ever done has been to help me. It was all to keep me with you and that hurts.”

“However, you did all of that to keep me around when just one honest conversation could’ve solved everything. Instead, you decided to go behind my back and pull the strings. I am happier without you and really, I feel sorry for you Lee Hae Sung. This is my goodbye. Were strangers from now on” After you’ve said this. You take Seo Jun’s hand and walk out of the classroom. You can hear your classmates clapping and whopping at your exit and that makes you laugh.

“So does this mean, I’m out of tutoring today,” Seo Jun asks putting his arm around your shoulders. You shake your head, even after all this time, this boy will do anything to get out of tutoring.

You’d think you would feel bad or upset. You’d just ended a friendship you had since your childhood. That’s not how you felt though. You felt free, you had been seen as Hae Sung’s best friend for so long. Now you were able to be yourself, you didn’t need to worry about how Hae Sung would react to something if there would be an argument if you had to deal with Hae Sung’s disappointment. You never thought that tutoring Han Seo Jun would lead to your freedom from the cage that had been your friendship with Hae Sung.

THE END.

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solkwan · 3 years ago

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Carnation (prt2) - Han Seojun X Reader

A/N: hi :] thank u for waiting for me. once again, this piece is from the kdrama “True Beauty”, as well as a continuation of the first part (linked below). Feel free to message me if u have a question, if u’d like to kno more about the story, or just wanna talk :D. mwah

Summary: You and Seojun reunite at school.

Disclaimer: i’m using the names from webtoon but im following the kdrama timeline. im not caught up w the webtoon. i’m not fluent in hangul. no use of y/n. gn reader.

Warnings: spoilers for ep.8 thru the rest of the season essentially, read at ur own discretion. swearing, mutual pining, right person/wrong time, bad flower knowledge. mentions of suho/jugyeong.

Word count: 10k

prt 1 <- prt 2 -> epilogue

----

Time had passed since that weekend in the snow.

Though, your voice still echoes in Seojun’s mind.

Seojun hadn’t expected to see you so soon after your last encounter, and in his homeroom nevertheless. You, in the Saebom High uniform. Blazer unbuttoned and sweater vest neatly tucked into your bottoms. With one backpack strap on as you walked through the door, walking across the large windows, sun casting its rays onto you. You, who sat two seats in front of Suho and smiled widely as you greeted your friends. Eyes sparkling as you told them about your weekend. His breath had practically been taken from him.

Seojun came to the realization then that he didn’t pay much attention to the people he attended school with. He regretted it. Reminiscent of all the time he had wasted not getting to know you. Seojun had promised himself he wouldn’t let you be just another classmate he never truly got acquainted with. Up until recently, he had meant that completely platonically. As platonic as sneaking glances in between classes in the hallway could be.

That was until the class’ trip to the countryside. Wherein he decided he has to let Jugyeong go, gathering the kiss she and Suho shared on the trip. He knew where he stood with her and his feelings. Seojun had decided it was for the better. Besides, it had led him to discover his blossoming feelings for you. Perhaps it was the way you cheered for him when he went up to sing for their class on stage. Or the way you offered your sour flavored gummies to him on the bus.

Back then, as everyone was boarding the bus, you had noticed the gloomy look on his face. He ended up sitting next to Jugyeong, but the look remained etched onto his face. You figured if he was going to frown at something, you’d rather it be from a bittersweet candy on his tongue than a girl whose bad mood reflected his own. Maybe they had fought, maybe they were just tired. But as you leaned over the middle of the bus, holding onto the seat in front of you for support, and stretched your arm to tap on Seojun’s shoulder--you couldn’t deny the satisfaction of getting the skin in between his brows to relax, even if only for a minute.

In the time that had passed, both of you remained friendly. Eyes meeting in class and softening slightly. Low murmurs deep enough to rumble in one's chest in passing ‘hello’s’’. You did occasionally feel guilty, though. Rumors had spread about Jugyeong and Seojun being in a secret relationship. You, not understanding the circumstances, in turn, tended to not read too much into your interactions with the boy. He was just being nice, you figured. It was better this way.

Seojun, on the other hand, had been under the impression that you and Seung-joon had been dating. The number of times the two of you had been spotted together was increasing. As well as the amount of teasing from your friends.

In reality, you hadn’t made much progress with Seung-joon. That first weekend that you had met up with Seung-joon hadn’t exactly gone to plan. By the time you had found Seung-joon, it was hardly snowing anymore. More of a light drizzle than anything. Yet, the two of you sat on a cold bench anyway. Watching the dark clouds drift off and the sun appear once more. In school, he was often busy playing on the basketball team, and you were busy with the school choir. Since your schedules never overlapped, you only saw him outside of school. You frequently found yourself going to Seung-joon when you truly wanted to be with Seojun. Which only piled onto the guilt you felt.

Now, Seojun and you sat in class. Both actively resisting the urge to make your way to one another. Sitting patiently in your assigned seats as you waited for class to begin.

“Don’t look now, but Seojun is totally checking you out,”

Your head turns without a thought. In the corner of the classroom sits Seojun, one leg hanging over the other. His arms are splayed lazily on his desk, and his eyes are glued to you. A blush brushes his cheeks when your eyes meet. And yet, he doesn’t turn away.

You’re not blind to his staring. Honestly, it’s hard to be. You just question when his eyes wandered away from Jugyeong and found their way to you. Your friend pinches your thigh.

“I said don’t look,” your friend scolds you.

“Am I not allowed to glance around the classroom?” You tilt your head playfully, giving her a snarky response.

“Not when Seojun is looking at you like that,” she’s just as snippy.

“Like what? He’s just being friendly,” you shrug.

“No way,” she’s leaning forward now, voice close to a whisper, “he’s totally into you!”

You roll your eyes. Annoyed at the way your heart skips a beat at the thought. You take a peek at the back of the classroom once more, and find his eyes are still on you. You offer him a smile and his lips quirk in an awkward smile. He quickly offers a poise bow of his head and fixes his eyes elsewhere immediately afterward.

When you turn back to your friend she has a wide smirk on her face. You glare in return.

“Do you think that because you have a boyfriend now more guys will approach you?” She teases you but you don’t find the humor in it.

“Who said I had a boyfriend?” the way your voice drops tells her it's serious.

The smirk begins to fade from her face. She opens her mouth to say something but quickly closes it when she can’t find the words. She glances off to the large window to your left, searching for answers in the clouds. The gears turn in your head.

Before you can reach a proper conclusion, Mr. Han walks through the door and is starting class. Your friend jerks her body towards the front of the classroom, successfully saving herself. Your teacher begins class by saying good morning. You can make Seojun’s voice out through the chorus of monotone students. The usual conversation starts up within the class. Students don’t want to study, Mr. Han makes an agonizing attempt to cheer everyone up, and everyone cringes at the corniness.

Unsatisfied with your classmate, you lean forward and whisper as loudly as you can without getting caught. Letting her know that you are not done with the conversation.

“Did Seung-joon say something?” you ask her and her head slowly turns back to you.

Her face is distressed as she wonders if it’s the right idea to say something. Mr. Han is going on about choosing students to assign the weekly cleaning to. Everyone avoids his eyes.

“Well,” she finally speaks out, “I just heard around that you two went out,”

“Heard from who?” You’re stubborn and she’s lavishly regretting bringing up the topic.

“Just some upperclassmen,” she shrugs it off, “I’m sure the whole class heard about it, it’s not a big deal or anything--”

“Seojun,” Mr. Han’s voice echoes through the classroom. It lulls your conversation.

Seojun, whose eyes had previously been glued to your frame, is surprised when Mr. Han is singling him out. Eyes wide and searching the board for some sort of clue as to why he was being addressed in front of the entire classroom. Mr. Han is staring at him expectedly. When he doesn’t answer, the rest of his classmates’ heads start to turn.

Yours included. Wondering how Mr. Han had voiced your thoughts.

Seojun, you wondered. Had he heard the rumor, too? Did he think you and Seung-joon were dating? Did he know Seun-joon was the one you were meeting that day? Did he suspect he ruined that date?

You turn your head to view him, waiting for him to answer Mr. Han. He’s panicking, though, and you can tell he wasn’t listening to the discussion either. Your eyes meet once more and he stumbles over his words.

“What was the question?” His eyes are blinking in confusion.

A few students chuckle at his puzzlement. A sigh is heard from Mr. Han.

“You’ve got cleaning duty today, do you have a problem with that?”

Once Seojun processes the question, his instincts take over. He cooly tilts his head and winces.

“Ah, I do,” he lies, “Cram school, unfortunately,”

Seojun didn’t go to cram school. He did, however, have to pick up some medicine for his mom to help with the recovery of her most recent surgery. Unluckily for him, the pharmacy is an unyielding 20-minute walk in the opposite direction of his home. It’s times like these Seojun regrets giving up his motorcycle.

“That’s alright. Studying is important, after all,” Mr. Han wearisomely nods his head at the excuse, “we’ve got a quiz coming up,”

The class groans at the words. Their morning is burdened with the reminder of yet another grueling quiz that’ll only deter them further from pursuing higher education. And, though Mr. Han has accepted the excuse, he’s giving Seojun a warning look.

Briefly, you wonder if this has happened more than once. Wonder if while you’ve been distracted by Seojun’s drama and dating rumors, you’ve completely missed him dodging every academic duty that’s been thrown his way. Irritation blooms in your chest at the thought, and you realize you’ve never once seen Seojun get cleaning duty. His leave of absence suddenly makes you think.

“Any volunteers to take Seojun’s place?”

While Mr. Han is distracted again, you address your friend once more, needing more information.

“What did you hear about Seung-joon and me?”

She’s disappointed at the way you haven’t dropped the subject yet but knows now more than ever you won’t stand down. Hesitatingly, she tells you what she knows.

“Students were saying that Seung-joon was going to ask to be your boyfriend, but judging by your reaction I’m guessing he . . . “ the words die off.

You shake your head at your friend. Sure, the two of you hung out, but neither of you had taken it to the next step. Seojun had prevented you from doing so, and you’re sure Seung-joon noticed your hesitancy. Leaving you on a plateau of confusing, mixed-up emotions.

Mr. Han’s attention goes to your side of the classroom. Obviously taking note of your chatter.

“Suho, take Seojun’s place, will you?”

Suho, sitting a couple seats behind you, politely nods. Everyone else in your section lets out a sigh of relief having not heard their own names, you included.

“And one more student,” Mr. Han pretends to think before your name flies out of his mouth, “You two should be fine, yes?”

You don’t have time to react because another voice cuts through the classroom.

“No!” Seojun rises from his seat, chair squeaking as he does so. The class turns to him at the sudden outburst. The panic is evident on Seojun’s face as he searches for a way to fix his mistake.

“ . . . way,” he finally says, “No way, today is Monday,” He feigns surprise. Eyebrows rising and eyes nervously blinking.

“Thank you, Seojun, you may take your seat now,” Mr. Han says.

“It’s Monday, and I just remembered that I don’t have cram school on Mondays,” Seojun finally reaches a conclusion, sitting down awkwardly.

“What kind of cram school doesn’t start on Mondays?” Hyunkyu, the bowl-cut-haired man, challenges him. Seojun resists the urge to get back up and smack him hard enough to knock off his glasses.

“Which means, I can totally stay after school today to clean up,” he gestures towards you, “We both can,”

The pharmacy doesn’t close until 7 anyway, and the dusk sky looks prettier after he’s spent his day staring at you.

Mr. Han scratches the back of his neck, “Alright, Seojun and--”

“Mr. Han,” you squeak out, one hand raised slightly in an attempt to remain polite, “I hate to do this, I really do, but I’ve actually got choir practice today--”

Mr. Han cuts you off with a sigh, hands covering his face in exaggeration. Remembering the predicament you’ve told him about before. The class stills in fear that he’ll have an outburst. The silence is louder than ever as Mr. Han stays hidden behind his hands.

“Sorry,” you manage.

His hands drop and he shakes his head, “I should’ve done a better job at knowing your guys’ schedules. I am your homeroom teacher, am I not?” Nobody responds.

“Suho and Seojun will have cleaning duty today, that’s final,”

----

Suho is nowhere to be seen. It’s not too long after dismissal now, most students heading home or chatting with classmates as they walk the same way. And Seojun ends up in his homeroom classroom by himself.

Seojun thinks maybe Suho is avoiding him. Perhaps he finally got the courage to disobey Mr. Han, and decided not to show. Hell, Suho is probably with Jugyeong at the moment, spending time together behind closed doors. A more commonly occurring thing now that the two were secretly seeing each other. This left Seojun alone, standing in the back of the classroom, shoving dusty science textbooks into an equally unkempt bookshelf.

Time moves far too slow for his liking and the endless list of tasks seemingly gets longer. The ticking of the clock makes his frustration rise. As the long hand ticks 15 marks forward, Seojun has to face the reality that Suho isn’t showing up any time soon, and he’ll most likely end up cleaning the entire classroom on his own. At this rate, he could probably make it to the pharmacy before it closes, but he’d get home not too long after the sun lays to sleep for the day. He grumbles at the thought.

Seojun’s strategy to combat said thought is simple. It goes like this; Stack as many of the same books together as he can, grab them all at once, and slide them into the corresponding shelf as quickly as he can. This is the most efficient way, he decides. He makes a show of squatting as he grabs a new pile.

“Need some help with that?” You stand at the back doorway of the classroom. Your hand is gripping one strap of your backpack, a habit Seojun now picked up on with how often he looked for you when you’d walk to your seat. Which he had memorized the day he first noticed you, making note of your friendliness towards your classmates. Smiles across the board when you’d greet them all. Even Suho sparing you a nod. It made Seojun’s insides itch.

Your voice startles Seojun. It makes him turn too fast, causing his grip to loosen mid-transfer. He’s nearly dropping the textbooks. You’re quick to rush to him, though. Your feet glide across the floor and your hands fly up to stabilize the texts. You reach him just in time.

The position is awkward, though. The mound of books is tilted. Corners of books stick out uncomfortably and are on the verge of slipping out of the stack. Seojun’s hands desperately hold onto the books. Your hands are adjacent to his. Clutching where you can so you don’t drop anything, elbows stretched as you try to cover more room.

In the heat of the moment, your body has pressed itself as close as it can to the books. The rough corners press into your skin anywhere it sees fit. The same goes for Seojun. The only thing that separates you two is a cluster of An Introduction to Calculus. You knew there was a reason you disliked calculus so much.

Seojun’s pupils are blown wide and his mouth is parted. You can’t help but stare at the hair that reaches the back of his neck. It’s almost nostalgic being this close to him again. Memories of the cold that brushed your skin that afternoon, what felt like eons ago. Fingers tight and shaking to grip him closer.

He catches you staring and embarrassment floods your veins. You pull away, forgetting the mess you’re tangled in. This results in the books slipping out of place.

Seojun’s eyes widen almost comically. You realize your mistake and attempt to catch what you still can. Both you and Seojun lean down at the same time in an attempt to catch them, knocking heads in the process. You both recoil and your efforts are to no avail. The math textbooks hit the floor with loud thuds.

Maybe nostalgia is just that. Feelings of reminiscence to bring back the hammering of your heart that serve you no true purpose. You rub your forehead in defeat and avoid his eyes.

“Sorry,” you say, swallowing, “I didn’t mean to startle you,”

“It’s okay,” His own hand is rubbing at his forehead,

“What are you doing here?”

His directness catches you off guard. This was not the same Seojun that had blushed when you caught him staring this morning.

“I told Suho I would come,” And here Seojun thought Suho had finally gained some guts, “But then I got caught up in convincing my choir club to let me leave early. They all thought I was meeting with Seung-joon,”

At the mention of him, Seojun visibly deflates.

“--But I told them you were waiting for me,” you finally look at him, “And they finally let me leave,”

Seojun tries to not let your words affect him so much. He nods as he processes your words.

“I felt bad for leaving you stuck with Suho. Not that I don’t like Suho, or--or that you don’t like Suho. You two just don’t--” you stop yourself, “I just didn’t think it was fair for me not to do my part in cleaning,”

Seojun’s eyes are soft when you look at them. His face is relaxed and oddly comforting. You can’t help the way your heart rate picks up.

“Shall we get to it then?”

----

You move towards the podium at the front of the classroom, having finished putting the textbooks away as well as dusting the shelf. On the podium sits a small potted plant. Green has sprouted and you can see a hint of yellow where the flower will bloom. The soil stares at you expectantly. You spot a spray bottle on the inside shelf of the podium and grab it quickly. You’re not sure where to start but you decide to go for it. How hard could it be to water some plants, right?

The ‘pshh’ of the water makes Seojun look up from where he’s scraping gum off a desk. You try to ignore him as you aim haphazardly for the soil. It’s pointless as Seojun gets up from where he’s crouching and makes his way to the podium. He reaches you and carefully examines your actions. You look up at him, waiting for whatever he wants to say.

“May I?” his hands go up to yours, you assume he wants the bottle from you. You give him the go-ahead and start to hand him the bottle. Seojun doesn’t grab it, though. Instead, he cups his hands over yours and carefully guides the nozzle. He moves in closer to do so, his shoulder nudging with yours. You’re surprised at how natural his hands feel against yours.

“Tulips don’t need very much water,” he carefully examines the soil to see what parts are moist, “if it gets too soggy, it’ll rot”

He guides your finger to spray softly on the soil. You’re all too aware of the way his body fits next to yours.

“How do you know it’s a tulip?” you narrow your eyes and he simply uses one hand to point at where the flower is sprouting.

“The bulb,” he gives you no further explanation.

In the corner of the room, your phone goes off with a notification. The ding rings loudly in the quiet classroom. It startles you and makes you pull your hands away from his. Leaving the spray bottle in his hands.

Guilt starts to pound at your chest. You feel as if the two of you have been caught. You know it’s Seung-joon checking up on you. Yet, you don’t move to check it. Seojun glances at you, but when you don’t say anything, he decides to do the same. Paying it no attention as he focuses on the plant in front of you two.

Seojun delicately holds the long, green stem of the plant as he sprays water with his opposite hand. You watch with careful eyes as he does so, trying not to let awkwardness overtake the room. His eyes are squinted in concentration and his focus is on the potted plant. You appreciate his attentiveness.

It becomes clear to you that Seojun isn’t as intimidating as the entire school has made him out to be. Surely, he hadn’t been kicked out of school. He isn’t a gangster who gets expelled for starting fights or getting into trouble outside of school. No, he’s a teenager with an oddly large amount of knowledge of flowers. One who knows enough about greenery to tell apart nonflowering tulips and daisies, you’re sure. A young man whose only worry in the world is ensuring this very tulip gets the right amount of hydration. You think about asking him about it.

“I guess you know a lot about flowers,” you say.

Seojun’s vigilance is broken and you half regret speaking. He looks at you, lowering the spray bottle. His eyelashes look pretty from here. You panic.

“I just mean with how often you bring--”

He lets out a chuckle. Your heart skips a beat. His lips settle into a gentle smile as he lowers his body to take a closer look at the soil.

“I like to think I’m coming close to an expert,” there’s a teasing undertone in his voice and it makes you scoff.

He looks up at you and you can’t handle his long eyelashes blinking at you like that. You fail to bite back a smile so you attempt to hide it by looking away from him. He notices, though. You click your tongue.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I knew it’d feed your ego so much,” you tease back but he shakes his head.

“Ms. Yoon is the flower expert,” you meet his gaze as he explains. “She owns the flower shop I go to. That woman knows everything about botany. She’s taught me all I know. From how much sunlight a plant should get to the significance of gifting different types of flowers,”

Your mouth falls open and an ‘ah’ with it. He surely must have known what giving you carnations insinuated, then. Perhaps it's why he blushed so hard that day. You find yourself nodding as he goes on.

“If not for her,” his eyes flick back and forth at nothing in particular, “I would have killed any plant I’ve come in contact with,”

You imagine Seojun entering a flower shop. The sight is almost laughable. Probably overwhelmed as he takes in all the different colored petals that surround him. Eventually working up the courage to ask an older woman in an apron for help. A blush spreading across his cheeks as he asks what kind of flowers would be best to congratulate someone.

Your thoughts are brought back to reality as Seojun sighs deeply. Looking at the soil once more.

“You should have more faith in yourself,” you scold him.

He looks back at you with raised eyebrows. Your words contradict what you said earlier about feeding his ego. He stands easily and his presence overshadows yours.

“I have no trouble being confident in myself,” his teasing returns, “Now, we should let this soak.”

He sets down the spray bottle onto the podium. Then walks back to the desk he was working on, crouches, and starts scraping at the sticky substance under it again. You wonder again about him.

“You know, if I’m being honest,” you’re saying the words before you can give them a second thought, “I didn’t think you liked me all that much,”

Seojun’s head shoots up, his face filled with puzzlement.

“Why would you think that?”

You pick up a rag and head towards the windows, trying to distract yourself. Seojun keeps a steady gaze on you. You look away, his full attention too much for you. Embarrassment creeps up your neck when you realize you have to respond.

“Well, it’s just that,” you start wiping down the windows, “with how we ran into each other at the mall, and earlier in class today, I just kind of figured—“

“I do like you,”

Your hands freeze in place. The way the words sound on his tongue is enticing. And you find yourself enjoying them more than you think you should.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” you swallow hard, “people will get the wrong idea,”

You do your best to naturally fall back into the work. Though it’s awkward, you continue. A particularly cloudy spot on the window gives you trouble. You use all your force to scrub at it.

“So? You’re Gowoon’s friend, we should get along,” So he had recognized you.

Gowoon and you were friendly, sure, but not enough for Seojun to have the need to be familiar with you.

“Yeah, Gowoon’s friend,” you grumble.

Gowoon’s friend. Gowoon. Not Seojun’s. Not Seojun’s friend because of course, you aren’t friends. You’ve barely had three conversations together if that. Being in the same class doesn’t automatically make you two close. Neither does what happened at the mall during the first snowfall. What happened at the mall was a coincidence. A mistake; a distraction. A distraction like the stupid stain on the window that isn’t going away no matter how hard you--

Water hits the window. It has you freezing. You’re surprised as you turn to face the perpetrator. Seojun holds the spray bottle from earlier and you can see regret creep onto his face for the second time since you’ve conversed with him. He had finished scraping under the desks.

“Thanks,” you mumble as you finally rub the spot out.

His gaze lingers on you briefly before spraying the next window pane. He’s gentle in the way he holds his own rag, Spritzing and letting the liquid drip before running the damp rag along the glass. The way his tough demeanor falls as he wipes the window has you thinking back to your thoughts at the beginning of class that day. You figure there’s no harm in asking. This way, you can confirm your suspicion.

“Can I ask you something?” You don’t bother to stop your thoughts now.

“Sometimes I speak without thinking,” he interrupts.

You’re surprised when a loud laugh leaves you. Seojun finds relief in it.

“Not what I was going to ask, but I’m glad you’re self-aware,” you relish in the playfulness while you still can, “Actually, I was going to ask you something a little more serious. This might not be my place to ask—and you don’t have to answer if you don’t . . . “

You trail off as his face falls. Like he knows what you’re going to ask. Which you think is impossible because you can hardly collect your thoughts enough to get a sentence out. Still, he looks at you as if he can read your thoughts. Seriousness falling onto his features.

“How come you’ve never had cleaning duty before,”

You both know that’s not what you’re asking. You know why he’s never had cleaning duty before. It’s because before he hardly went to school enough to be assigned to it. Even now that he was consistent with coming to school, he always found a way to weasel out of most extracurricular activities that required him to stay any longer than the average school day.

It couldn’t be what everyone said it was. That he ran around with sketchy people, beating others up and challenging students from other schools with bad reputations. There was no way Seojun could hurt a fly with the way he handled the bulbing plant. Wiped at the window. Scraped at gum, even. Motions as smooth as rocking waves, careful not to scratch the desk. The way his warm hands passed you textbooks. Fingers sweeping against yours. Bracelet shining when it caught the light--

“Gowoon’s always been better at the school thing,” he finally says, chewing on his cheek, “And I’ve always been better at taking care of our mom,”

Seojun hates the way pity fills your eyes. It’s the way everyone looks at him after they find out the truth about all his absences. Sadness combing over their body and sympathy filling their words. He half regrets the words leaving his mouth, that is until you reach up and squeeze his arm.

“Sometimes,” you speak, not quite sure if you’re going to say the right thing, but trying regardless, “the world throws things at us,” You’re not meeting his gaze, “And we can’t do anything about it except face it and bare our teeth. It’ll be painful and heart-wrenching. And it’ll feel like no one can understand what you’re going through. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone,”

The moment your eyes meet his, Seojun’s breath leaves him. He feels a sudden rush of fear. Fear at the way your words comfort him more than anyone else’s ever have. Even Gowoon's and his mom’s. Maybe it’s precisely because they’re coming from you and not anyone else. The fear yanks him by his neck and makes his heart speed up. He’s overcome with the thought of kissing you, and it terrifies him.

Seojun thinks back to this morning when he saw you enter his homeroom. He couldn’t help but stare, then, at the sun-kissed skin that he caught flashes of behind your collared shirt. Swallowing as he remembered how close you two had gotten that day outside the mall. Enough so that he could smell your perfume through the humid air. It was sweet and alluring. It fit you well. If Seojun concentrated hard enough right now, he’s almost certain he’d be able to smell it again.

Seojun is afraid at the thought. He quickly takes a step back, causing you to drop your hand.

“I know,” he brushes it off, “I--thank you,”

Your brows furrow sweetly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“It’s okay,” he’s quick to reassure you, “My mom--she’s--she’s better now. She spent some time at the hospital and is recovering well,”

Relief floods your system.

“That’s good!” you’re too loud, “That’s great, um, must be why you returned to school, huh?”

You feel silly at your previous attempt to comfort him. He didn’t need to go through things alone, of course, he didn't. He has actual friends and family, after all. Gowoon and Jugyeong, Chorang—

You self consciously run your fingers through the rag still in your hands. Mind whirling through ways to make conversation.

“Yeah,”

Don’t let the conversation die. Don’t let the conversation die. Don’t let the conversation--

“Oh,” you speak, “that must be why you visited that flower shop to begin with,”

His eyes are narrowing and his lips quirk up.

“That and I wanted to congratulate Gowoon for making the choir club,”

You’re startled at the way his tone turns into a light, feathery one.

“Sorry, I guess sometimes I speak without thinking, too,”

Now, it’s his turn to laugh loudly.

----

The sun makes its way lower and lower as you and Seojun finish cleaning up the classroom. Double-checking books and gathering up all the trash as you two work in comfortable silence. The only thing left on the list is to lock up and properly dispose of the two garbage bags sitting in the corner of the room. You’re a little sad to see your time together is coming to an end. You stall by going over the to-do list, humming as you pretend to think.

“I think that’s all for today,” you sigh out.

Seojun comes in close and examines the list over your shoulder.

“Guess so,” his voice rings in your ear.

Your hands tightly clutch at the clipboard that holds the list, bare nail beds on display. Your thumb brushes over the paper, self consciously.

“Should we take out the garbage--?” you’re asking, turning your head over your shoulder to look at Seojun. His face is much closer than you anticipated, nose mere inches from yours. You’re both surprised by the sudden invasion of space. The two of you quickly pull back, embarrassed.

“Sure,” he mutters.

Both you and Seojun gather your things in silence.

“Alright, let’s go,” He makes a beeline for the exit, grabbing one of the bags as he does so. You rush to grab the other garbage bag and lock up the classroom. You have to jog a little to catch up to him, already nearing the end of the hallway.

“Is your boyfriend not walking you home today?” he says it nonchalantly, but the fact he’s noticed Seung-joon says he’s been paying attention to the two of you. You make your way down the stairs.

“My boyfriend?”

“Yeah, that guy,” he grips the bag tightly, “What’s his name, Seung-min?”

A smile spreads across your lips. It’s ironic. Considering all that differentiated their names was a single character, you found it hard to believe he didn’t know Seung-joon’s name. A little round circle that effectively changes the way your tongue shapes the words. A mere consonant separates the two boys.

“Seung-joon doesn’t walk me home, just to the bus station,” you state calmly, “And he isn’t my boyfriend,”

“Isn’t he?” Seojun attempts to speak in an indifferent tone, but his face betrays him.

“No,” your response is immediate as you reach the bottom of the stairs, slowing when you’re unsure of which hallway to walk down. Seojun makes the decision for you when he turns left. The longer way, you note.

“Don’t you two spend most of your time together?”

“Not necessarily,” You speak carefully, “He’ll walk with me when he can and texts me throughout the day,”

“Why don’t you tell me what you think a boyfriend is supposed to do,” Seojun is teasing you now. Glancing at you way too often for him not to care, you think.

You‘re rolling your eyes lightheartedly. Shaking your head, you explain.

“Just because we text doesn’t mean we’re dating. Dating someone is more than that. It’s going out of your way to make time for them. It’s listening and communicating with one another. Someone who is comforting, but still scares you a little.“

Seojun chuckles at the thought.

“Seriously! Someone whose name gets you excited. Makes you feel–”

“Safe,” Seojun finishes.

Heat rushes through your body as you force yourself down from your soapbox. You reach the end of the hallway and turn a corner.

“Yeah,” you mutter quietly, the back exit door getting closer and closer.

Though you’re embarrassed, you have to admit that you don’t want your time with Seojun to end.

“Seung-joon,” you hesitate, treading ahead decisively, “He doesn’t do the things he does because he feels that way,”

“Has he told you that?”

“He doesn’t have to,”

You pause to walk out the single exit door. You go through first and hold the door for Seojun, he simply looks at you. Staring from the other side of the doorway. The air is fresh and you try not to shiver as he does so.

“What?” You ask him, tightening your own grip on the garbage bag.

“Is Seung-joon the one who called you that day?” That day at the mall, weekends ago.

You hesitate, but answer with a soft, “yeah,”

“And he’s been texting you,” he tilts his head toward your backpack, where your phone resides. Referring to earlier when your phone had gone off.

“Yeah,” you echo.

“Maybe you should have more faith in yourself,” the line repeated at you sounds foreign.

He smoothly walks out of the building and makes his way toward the large trash can towards the back of the building. Leaving you holding the door, staring dumbfounded.

“What do you mean?” You jog to catch up to him, the garbage bag rattling in your hand.

You’re reaching the dumpsters all too quickly. Seojun lifts the lid of one and swings his bag up and into it. Then, he turns to you, hand-stretched out expectantly. Your face is heating up as it takes you a second to realize he’s asking for your own garbage bag.

“Is it that unlikely that he likes you?” He says as he disposes of the bag.

“Nobody’s ever shown interest before,” you tell him, and he looks back at you with his eyebrows raised. Almost like he’s saying, “Really?”.

Maybe he had seen the way boys flocked at your feet. Maybe he had made notice of your friendliness. Maybe he was curious about you. Your knees nearly buckle at the thought. You shrug, kicking at your feet as you realize you’ll have to say goodbye soon.

“Not seriously, at least,”

He hums at that, eyes narrowing.

“Is someone picking you up?” He asks, hands in his pockets, wanting to move on.

“No, I take the bus,” you tell him, “is someone picking you up?”

He shakes his head, lips pursed pensively.

“Shall I walk you?”

“Which way are you walking?”

You both flush. You point first in the direction you're going. Seojun’s house is the opposite way. However, it’s the very course Seojun must walk to the pharmacy. Down the narrow path that wraps around the school. Towards the front. There, a bus station sits two blocks down the road from the main entrance. As you both begin to walk that way, you enter a passageway with high walls and hardly enough walking space for one person.

But instead of Seojun staying behind or walking in front of you, he stays close by your side. It makes your arms rub uncomfortably, but it brings you warmth so you stay like that.

“I’d give you a ride on my motorcycle, but I stopped driving it,” he rubs his neck sheepishly, scrunching up his long arm to reach.

“Oh, that’s right,” you recall, “because of your girlfriend,”

Your statement is meant to be teasing, but you can’t help the slight jealousy that leaks from it. Seojun quickly turns to you, stunned at how you know that.

“Who--?”

“You kinda gave her your keys in front of the entire class,”

You remember the day, long ago, Seojun walked into class and dropped his keys on Jugyeong’s desk, rumors quickly spreading as she tried to return them. The whole school speculated over them.

“Oh,” he remembered, “right,”

His eyes glance at your side, trying to read you.

“She’s not my girlfriend, though,” he told you and you hum in disbelief, “Really--my mom just asked her to look after me,”

He’s digging his own grave. Seojun can tell you don’t believe him, so he goes on.

“There’s nothing going on between the two of us,”

You look up at him, face unreadable.

“Hey, my lips are sealed,” you arch an eyebrow, tempting him. You want to hear him say it. You need to, “Just because I don’t have a partner doesn’t mean you can’t,”

“Seriously,” he defends himself, “It’s kinda like what you were saying,”

The two of you turn quiet as the statement settles in. Like what you were saying about Seung-joon. It’s unreciprocated. Hollow, in your case. Maybe the two of you were destined to fall in love with people who didn’t feel the same. It was comforting to know Seojun was going through the same thing you were. You hum at the thought.

“It’s different, though, no?” you wonder, “Jugyeong seems to like you enough,”

“Seung-joon seems to like you, too,” he counters.

“It’s just that—“ you chew on your cheek.

“It’s just that?” He bumps into your shoulder teasingly. Your opposite side rubbing against the wall.

You glance at him and sulk. You didn’t like the butterflies that started in your tummy. And you definitely didn’t want to keep talking about Seung-joon. But something about Seojun’s presence was so comforting, and maybe you hadn’t been imagining the jealousy behind his words. Maybe if you pushed him a little further, you could test the grounds, feel him out.

“I heard around that Seung-joon was going to ask me out,” you finally tell him.

It’s hard to decipher the look on Seojun’s face.

“Officially, I mean” You explain.

Guilt creeps up Seojun’s neck. He tries to move further away from you, but considering the narrow pathway, it doesn’t do much.

“But, you know, to be honest, I don’t think he actually wants to,” you admitted, “Which I know sounds stupid because he’s the one who approached me, but I don’t know—I,” you trail, “I’ve never felt at comfortable with him, I guess?”

Seojun looks over at you with sad eyes.

“It’s not stupid,” it comes out soft.

“You don’t have to pity me,” you scoff.

“I’m not,”

His tone is genuine. Everything about Seojun invited you in, eased your mind. The way his eyes turned soft and the way his lips would hang ever so slightly open. When his warm body would turn towards you and unconsciously lean your way. It was so contradictory to the way you and Seung-joon interacted. The very juxtaposition made both your head and heart spin.

Especially on that day where you had met up with Seung-joon after the snow. You explained to him that you had gotten lost on the way, but you could tell he knew it was a lie. That was your first mistake. Your second was thinking about Seojun for the remainder of your date. Quietly sitting, staring at the sky, wondering if Seojun had run after Jugyeong. Said date took notice of your distracted mind and ended the date early saying he had homework to do.

“He hasn’t even attempted a kiss,” you huff out, not realizing you were getting lost in thought. Seojun’s brows furrowed.

The two of you turn the corner, finally freeing yourselves from the narrow passageway. You can see tall, thin trees start to appear more frequently. Its pigmented leaves contrast it. The sidewalk is large now. Yet, the distance between you two is unchanging. You take uneven steps, purposely causing you to bump into Seojun. It gives you an excuse to keep brushing your arms.

“Seojun?” You ask him and he hums, “You’re a man, right?”

That was reassuring.

You notice the change in his stance and you take it as a sign that he’s offended.

“I mean—“

A soft ‘ne’ falls from his lips. You quickly look at the side of his face, hoping to catch his eyes, but they’ve focused straight ahead on the pathway. This was it.

“Would you kiss me?”

Seojun almost trips when you ask the question. He catches his feet but stops in his tracks. You stop next to him and he doesn’t know if he wishes you were closer or further from him.

“What?” He turns his body to face you and your eager eyes await him. Air stops reaching Seojun’s lungs.

You’ve walked further down the path now. The colors of fall compliment your skin. The white trunks speckled with brown line the wide sidewalk. Yellows and reds litter the floor. Leaves that crunch under your feet. The setting sun rests softly in the distance. Its warmth leaves you, but Seojun doesn’t feel the cold.

You stand with your hands clutching at your sides. They shiver in the cold air. They stubbornly refuse to grab the mittens inside of your backpack. Too impatient to bother, and not willing to cross your arms for warmth. Your eyes are unmoving. They still patiently as you wait for his answer.

Suddenly, Seojun wishes he could take your picture whilst you’re looking at him like this. With your shivering hands and restless thoughts. Eyes shining as they reflect the sun back to him. He knows, though, that he wouldn’t be capable of capturing your beauty.

It wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Would you have made a move by now?” Your stare is intimidating.

What was Seojun supposed to say? That he did want to kiss you? That he’s wanted to kiss you since your eyes first met? That his heart does backflips and his mind goes blank whenever you ask him questions like these? Because they do. And he does.

Seojun’s tongue clicks against his teeth and he forces his lungs to breathe once more.

“Are you asking me what I would do or what I would do if I was Seung-joon?”

You think for a second. The wind picks up.

“If you had watched the snow with me--”

“We did watch the snow together.” he doesn’t miss a beat and it makes you think again.

“I mean if you were Gu Seung-joon,” you miss the way his eyes squint in annoyance, “And we had planned to watch the snow together. Would you have kissed me when we finally met?”

The birch branches shift around you as a breeze blows through the air. Muted yellow leaves cascade from them and are blown into the sky. Nature scatters dead leaves on the dirt-covered sidewalk. They dance as the wind touches them, twirling as they hit the ground.

They remind you of the snow that day.

“Not if you didn’t want me to,” Seojun finally answers.

“Do you think it seemed that way?” You’re puzzled. Seojun bites on his cheek.

“From what you told me,” his eyes wander from yours, “didn’t it?” You’re silent, and Seojun doesn’t wait to see if you’ll speak, “What about you? Why haven’t you kissed him? What’s holding you back? I thought you liked him,”

You breathe. Your eyes don’t move from his. The leaves twist and turn around him. You wonder if he’s cold.

“I guess my heart was still holding out for someone else,”

The features on Seojun’s face soften. His eyebrows unfurrow and he realizes how tense he’s standing. Shoulders scrunched up anticipating your next words. Teeth grinding unconsciously, making a pang of pain start towards the back of his head. He has to make himself take in air.

His lips part to exhale and you watch as the cold air comes out of his pretty lips. Your eyes stay on them. You may do something stupid if he doesn’t close them soon. It’s only when the cold air wisps through the air again that they close. Your eyes hurry back to his.

His heart stutters. Wind blows his hair out of his face and he resists the urge to fix it. His forehead is on display and he hopes he isn’t blushing. Could you have been talking about him? He felt stupid as his blood pounded harder at your words.

“Then you should talk to Seung-joon,” he pulls his gaze away from yours and decides to keep walking.

You, however, don’t move. You watch as his feet lift off the floor, one after the other. Leaves parting to make way. The cold air makes a shiver run through your spine. It tickles the back of your neck and itches your scalp. You’re chewing on your bottom lip and you know you should stop. But when he finally notices you’re not following him and turns back, you bite harder. The wind is making his hair go everywhere now.

“What about you, then? If—“ you hesitate, “If there were no conditions?”

If things were different; if he wasn’t into Jugyeong, and you weren’t into Seung-joon. The leaves continue to float around him. Time slows as you wait for him to say something. Your entire focus is on him.

“Would you have kissed me?” The question is repeated, but it holds a different weight now.

“It doesn’t matter,”

Rejection is so much worse than you can ever imagine. You’re expecting it. He said it himself, you two should get along, as friends. No more than that. It’d be betraying Seung-joon, who had approached you at the bus stop. He had been patient with you when you were late to watch the snowfall. Understanding, even, when it comes to your hesitance. Seung-joon and you were meant to get to know each other and eventually date.

But something about the way Seojun’s name fit with yours made your heart skip a beat. When he’d stare at you like you were the most important person in the world. And speak to you with kindness you’ve never heard from him directed towards you. Having him say those words of denial had you breaking you out of delusion.

The perfect fantasy world where the only thing you ever had to think about was your happiness. Where you could watch the snowfall with whomever you wanted. And not stress about studying hard and getting good grades.

“If not for the conditions, we wouldn’t have been in the situation in the first place,” he swallows, “It’s pointless to wonder what could have been,”

He tells you what you think you want to hear. What he thinks is best. He knows that before that weekend under the snow, he most likely wouldn’t have given your existence a second thought. He’d think of you as just another singer in his sister’s club. An acquaintance. Another student living in the background of his life. An extra in the scenes that took place in front of his eyes.

You liked Seung-joon. He was the reason you were at the mall that day. He’s the man who you were supposed to fall in love with. Watch the snow with. You’re supposed to go to Seung-joon’s basketball games and he’s supposed to go to your choir concerts. Seojun had come in and ruined it for the both of you. Guilt ate his stomach for stealing the experience from you. What was worse, he kind of enjoyed the feeling he got whenever he was near you. A part of him wondered what it’d be like to like you, and have you like him back.

“Right,” You seemingly shrugged it off.

Your response was casual. It was the correct response. It was the only response you could’ve given to his harsh one. Seojun hadn’t expected anything else. So, why had it made him feel worse? Strings tugged at Seojun’s heart. He couldn’t help but feel selfish as he wished for more from you. He liked Jugyeong. No--he likes Jugyeong. He went to a baseball game for her with Suho. If that doesn’t speak volumes he doesn't know what will.

If that was the case, though, why had he been so eager to spend the afternoon with you? This was turning out to be one big, confusing mess and it was making Seojun’s chest ache. He thinks he might end up chasing it if it means he can see you more often.

You stand a few feet from him. Your hands are shaking, and you’re not sure if it’s from the cold or the nerves working their way through your body. Regardless, you smile softly at him. It’s a sad smile. Full of what-ifs and lingering what could have been’s. It’s accepting.

It catches him off guard, and it’s surprisingly contagious. Seojun would smile back if he wasn’t terrified.

In a split-second decision, Seojun decides to not let it overtake him. To be selfish for once in his life. This time, he is the one yanking terror by its neck. And, rather than letting it lurk over Seojun, he’s going to; force it under his feet, and ride it.

“Instead,” your smile falters as he keeps talking, ”you should ask me what kind of flowers I’ll bring to your next performance,”

The stretch of skin around your mouth morphs. The ends go straight and your bottom lip drops ever so lightly. All of your muscles freeze, and you don’t dare try to move. Seojun is starting to wonder if he’s made a mistake when you finally find your words.

“And what kind would that be?” you’re scared.

“Arbutus,” he doesn’t hesitate, “Pink,”

You blink. Arbutus. Arbutus. You rake your brain for any information you have on the flower and come up blank. You can hardly remember what they look like if you’re being honest. The confusion must show on your face because Seojun starts walking towards you.

His hands are in his pockets, and his eyes are on you. He doesn’t stop until his body is almost pressed right against yours. Mere inches are left. You can hear his clothes rustle. You breathe an all too audible breath and you can’t stop it from escaping your lips not too long after. The air turns white around it and it blows straight into Seojun. His adam apple bobs. He swallows in his already dry mouth. The cold air is no longer noticeable as your bodies are lending each other heat.

“What do those mean?” You can’t help it when your voice trembles.

You’re staring at one another. You’re standing so close. A voice in the back of your head thinks maybe you should take a step back. But your body is screaming at you to close the distance. You know already there’s too much at risk.

And yet the only thing you can concentrate on is Seojun’s proximity to you. The way his eyes are looking at you. The way he’s slowly bringing himself closer. The way the wind blows his hair back, his eyes narrowing. The way his head is moving towards yours. Turning to fit yours. The way you could press your lips to his if you simply tilt your head ever so slightly to the—

“I love only you,”

Seojun pauses. He’s motionless, still. His body occasionally brushes against yours. You’re borrowing the other’s air. Practically exchanging air into each other’s mouths. Stealing as much oxygen as you can from the other.

You realize that he’s waiting for you. He’s wanting to make sure you’re okay with this. Your heart flutters at the thought.

“We shouldn’t,” an obligatory statement that must be said.

“Hm?” his nose brushes yours. Your skin tickles at it.

“You like Jugyeong--”

“You like Seung-joon,” his breath makes shivers go down your spine.

You’re not sure if either of you are truthful.

“I--Can I kiss you?”

A nod, and a hum of conformation.

Your lips hold his. Immediately, the feeling is all-consuming. An overload of senses. You’re all too aware of how awkwardly your hands hang on your sides. His hands hover over yours. They reach out to kiss his palms to yours. You no longer worry about whether or not your nails are bare.

The wind picks up around you. It blows loose leaves on the floor, brushing your ankles. Scattering them across the floor. The setting sun shines brightly in the distance. The sky bleeds orange-pink hues. One color fading into the other.

Having Han Seojun for this chilly afternoon is all you’ll ever need if it means you can feel his lips pressed against yours for the remainder of it. It's awkward and a little bit clumsy, but all in all, the kiss only makes you want to learn how to better shape your lips to fit his. All the flips your stomach is doing don’t bother you anymore with the way his thumb traces patterns on your hand. Souls mending as your bodies melt into one.

You can taste the mashed potatoes he had for lunch on his tongue, and you wonder if he tastes the cherry soda you had. All while he can only focus on how well he can smell your perfume perfectly from where he stands, leaning against you. Only cementing the aroma in his mind.

At this moment, the two of you desperately need each other. Almost like finding a piece of yourself you never realized was missing. Your other half, an extension of yourself, flaws and all. There’s nothing the two of you can’t share with the opposite. You know you can’t come back from this kiss, you’ll regret it the moment you pull away. So, right now, you desperately need to stay like this, clammy hands clutching him tightly, rough teeth bumping together.

That’s why, when he finally pulls away, your head falls onto his chest. It rapidly rises and falls as he catches his breath.

“Don’t hang out with Seung-joon anymore,” He almost whispers,

You lift your head, face heating up at his swollen lips. Shock showing on your face, “What?”

What he wants to tell you is: “Watch the snow with me, nobody else. Because I can’t bear the thought of you standing under the snow with someone who isn’t me. Not with Seung-joon--not with anyone,”

But all he can do is swallow hard.

He likes you so much and it’s horrifying. Because Seojun doesn't think he’s ever felt this way for anyone--and so quickly, too. But he doesn’t want to scare you off. He’s missed his chance with Jugyeong, he knows that. You both mean a lot to him. Now, the question is, who means more? Does it matter when Jugyeong has moved on? Have you? Assuming you return his feelings. You must. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have exchanged spit with him, surely. All of this thinking is making Seojun’s head pound. But perhaps that’s just all the blood rushing to his face.

Seojun is willing to put his old feelings for Jugyeong aside for you. To be ready to love you, at full capacity. Isn’t that what love is? Being willing to put his heart on the line regardless of what the end result will be? Seojun isn’t sure he knows what love is. But he does know that when you stare at him his chest swells so badly it hurts.

“I can’t be friends with you,” his eyes won’t meet yours, “I can’t be just friends”

His hands start to pull away from yours, but you quickly grab them. You can feel the sweat of his palms.

“Seojun, I like you” You reassure him, and his eyes quickly come up. The golden-brown irises shine brightly as they reflect the setting sun, “But I’m not sure if I can be more than friends with you right now,”

Just as before, that sad smile returns to your face. Your eyes are soaked in melancholy. He nods in dejection. You speak slowly. As if you’re saying things aloud as they come to your mind.

“But if, after we’ve--,” broken up with other people, “--settled things amongst ourselves, if you’d like to give me flowers after a performance, I would gladly accept them. Or I can get you flowers, too! What was that shop you mentioned? I can find some pink flowers--arbutus,”

You’re rambling, but all Seojun can do is smile. Walking to the pharmacy will be no trouble now that he knows you’re willing to be his.

“I’d like that,”

----

epilogue

if u’ve made it this far ty for reading I appreciate u. i let my perfectionism get the best of me, but here it is! lmk what u thought, luv y’all.

tags:

@sftpjmn @dramasmarvel @marylimlp @shawkneecaps

#true beauty #true beauty fanfic #true beauty seojun #reader insert #seojun x reader #han seojun x reader #han seojun #seojun han #fanfiction #x reader #kdrama #kdrama fanfic #one shot #fanfic #my writing #imagine #hwang in yeop #han seo joon #hwang inyeop

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kazucinth · 5 months ago

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hello guyss, forgive me for not being active as much nor posting, I've been taking a break😊

I want to ask, what if I start writing for Han Seo-Jun again? Just a simple question :DD Don't worry, I'll try to also write again for Varian and if it is confirmed, I will organize my blog and thus create a Masterlist for the things I have written. Please help me by answering the poll below it will really help me, Thank you!😊

#han seojun #hwang in yeop #true beauty #han seojun x reader

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icysab · 3 years ago

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boyfie things with han seojun !!

(may contain minor true beauty k-drama spoilers!)

- always uses you as an arm rest

- his love language is acts of service

- even if he HATES something he’ll pretend to like it if you like it

- but if your cooking is bad he can and will call you out for it

- the only person allowed to make fun of you is himself

- no one else can tease his bby

- HEAD PATS OMG

- when he hurts himself in the accident, he uses it as an excuse for you to take care of him, feed him, etc

- but he refuses to let you stay in the hospital overnight because you need rest

- his mom adores you

- she’s forever thankful to have you looking after her boy and making him happy

- you and gowoon make fun of him together teehee

- if you were friends with suho, he would be somewhat protective but would never give you an ultimatum, or refuse to let you hang out with him

- (hes maybe just a bit jealous and feels inferior to him)

- completely trusts you with other guys though

- like he will not care if ur hanging out with a guy on ur own or anything because he knows that you’re his and he’s yours, and nothing can change that

- he cannot cook at all but one time he tried to make a nice fancy dinner for the both of you and it did not end well

- let’s just say he won’t be allowed in the kitchen anymore :D

- with some persuasion, you can convince him to sing for you

- though he may or may not want to sing for you already, but he doesn’t want you to know so he acts like he doesn’t want to and you’re making him T-T

- it’s an excellent opportunity for him to show off and make you swoon over him more than you already do

- you help him through his trauma and processing what happened to seyeon

- you help him with money when you can and he helps you

- you’re each other’s home, each other’s safe point, each other’s sanctuary

- i don’t see him being big into physical touch, but he’d poke you a ton during class to get your attention

- or throw something at your head

- you’re the one giving him to motivation to go to school and study

- (though he doesn’t do much of the latter)

- he fiercely protects you from seongyong and his gang, and refuses to let them anywhere near you

- if they so much as lay a finger on you, they’re dead

- :>

- always giving him snacks

- this boy will ALWAYS make sure you’re eating, drinking water, sleeping, etc.

- he would take such good care of you

- one day hes over, laying in your bed while you do your laundry

- and it just hits him?? how domestic this all feels

- and he gets flustered and blushy hehe

- you try to ask him what’s wrong and he just goes AISHFNDJS NOTHING and continues being a lil dork

- in conclusion han seojun is perfect and he deserves the entire universe and more

#han seojun #han seojun fic #seojun #seojun imagine #seojun deserves better #seojun x reader #true beauty #hwang in yeop

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veannwrites · 2 years ago

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I love you hater|han seojun x kang soojin| true beauty

Part 1

Hi guys this is my first time writing a han seojun x soojin fanfic.. well stay tunedd<3

Starring cast:

Han seojun

Kang soojin

Lim jukyung

Lee suho

And other true beauty cast.

#seojun x sujin #han seojun #kang soojin #lee suho #lim jukyung #true beauty #han seojun x reader #fanfiction #enemies to lovers #hwang in yeop #park yoona

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skzfelixity · 4 years ago

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Han Seojun | [True Beauty]

Dating Han Seojun would include:

You might think he is cold but he is the most considerate boyfriend you will ever have.

Always asking how you are feeling or how your day went.

If you weren’t feeling well, he would be by your side until you feel better.

Trying to make you smile by being an idiot, usual Seojun behaviour.

Flowers. A lot of flowers.

You could make a garden with all the flowers he gives you.

H U G S and forehead kisses.

Moving his bangs aside so you can kiss his forehead always makes his heart skip a beat.

Hugs are his fave way to show you affection in public.

He isn’t big on PDA, kisses on the cheek is the farthest he will go.

If you are lucky, you might get a few pecks on the lips here and there though.

When you two are alone, oh boiii

Long cuddle sessions, most of them leading to make out sessions.

He is good with his hands and tongue, just saying.

H I C K E Y S

He is a high school boy, did you not expect him to be horny?

We don’t mind tho, do we? nope.

Teasing you to the point where you want to smack him.

“Were you always this annoying?”

Will never go overboard, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Trusting each other.

He has a lot of girls going after him but so do you.

In addition to the last statement, he does get jealous easily.

Being a lil more overprotective than he should be, he just knows bad people are out there waiting to hurt someone. He didn’t want that someone to be you.

Other students know you are a couple so they don’t hit on you.

Taehoon does once in a while to annoy Seojun but nothing else.

Outside of school, you get asked for your number often. Seojun growling at them before you can decline nicely.

You are his and you are going to be his, that’s final.

When he can’t be around, he has Chorong look out for you.

Dates? He takes you anywhere you want.

You want to go out? You will.

You want to stay in? No problem.

He just wants you to be comfortable<3

His mom and Gowoon love you, you are part of the family.

They usually joke about you picking Seojun.

“What is such a good girl doing with my son?”

We are attracted to tsundere boys ma��am.

Motorcycle rides to school.

He got you your own helmet as well.

Matching clothes? yessir!

Mostly black, grey, blue and white combos.

HE GIVES YOU HIS JACKET AT SCHOOL, I’M SCREAMING.

Showing up in his iconic jackets and hoodies when you hang out with your friends without him.

Like literally every outfit he wore was iconic, like mr/mrs/ms stylist thank you.

Getting him rings and earings.

Him wearing them 24/7.

I am melting at this point.

Dragging him to karaoke just to hear his beautiful voice.

Him acting like he doesn’t want to sing but it is a great chance to show off.

Staring at him thinking how you got so lucky to have him and him doing the same.

Him singing you to sleep while spooning you.

A relationship with Han Seojun = Heaven

I need him in my miserable life like please someone buy me a Seojun.

Defending you when someone badmouths you.

He would beat them up but you told him not to since he might become an idol in the future.

Almost lost it when Sungyong got too close to you, you had to calm him down for a solid hour after that.

Head over heels for each other.

The things he would do for you, ohgod.

He’ll probably get you a star.

Um excuse me, the pet names !!!

Baby, honey, princess etc.

Cue him telling Jukyung about showing off his girlfriend.

He’ll walk around with the look of ‘That’s my girlfriend’.

Too proud of you to shut up.

He’s a family guy, he wants a big fam so prepare.

In conclusion, we need more men like him.

I’m gonna go cry now because I need someone like Han Seojun.

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multidxni · 2 years ago

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multidxni masterlist

Hello! I decided I should start a masterlist for my works since I started writing sooo here I am. 🥰

My works include short/ long kpop idols imagines. (requests are always open)

You will find everything I write here. ❤️

Total works: 11

Optional bias x fem!reader:

safe in his arms - fluff

happier than ever - fluff

ending up in his bed again - angst, fluff, smut

Hwang Hyunjin x fem!reader:

but "just friends" don't look at each other like that - fluff, friends to lovers

Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader:

naps on rainy afternoons - fluff, established relationship

you’re all I need - fluff, established relationship

distraction - smut, established relationship

warm - fluff, established relationship

Suh Johnny x fem!reader:

hugs and kisses - fluff, established relationship

Hwang In Yeop x fem!reader:

The way I love you - fluff, established relationship

Wen Junhui x fem!reader:

comfort zone - fluff, established relationship

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tearsona · 4 years ago

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true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part eight

a/n: wah it’s been so long, please forgive me. college has honestly been killing me. i didn’t plan on ending the update like this, but i figured it would take me much longer if i included the next scene here, so i decided to just put it in the next part. anyway thank u to those who have been waiting patiently! the endgame is finally revealed??? please let me know what u think ((i am aware not everyone will like where the story goes but please be nice)). ALSO!!!! please check out this playlist a cool tumblr friend made for the series i love it so much :3

part one | part seven

the suddenness of your action takes you both aback at first, lips awkwardly pressed against each other and unmoving. suddenly, you’re aware that you’ve just entered prohibited territory - one and the same with that which you’ve one-sidedly tried hard to stay away from, with seojun.

with suho though, this was territory you’ve never really had to make a conscious effort avoiding simply because it had been completely unmapped in your friendship before this moment - never been in your vocabulary ‘til now.

probably why it didn’t take you a second thought to cross the line. for a moment, it didn’t feel like the consequences were the same.

and so you wait for it - the regret, the panic, the unwanted voice at the back of your mind, the force that’d pull you off of your friend.

but it doesn’t come.

instead, you feel yourself melting into the kiss the same time suho’s body relaxes against yours and, for now, it doesn’t feel wrong. not at all.

truthfully, you’ve done this with a number of boys in the past, none of which you’d felt even the slightest bit of affection for, so there have been times where you wondered what a real kiss would feel like. until now.

with suho, it’s nothing electric or magical. in fact, it’s the opposite - but feels just as wonderful and rare. it’s altogether sweet and delicate; even as he goes to deepen the kiss by angling his head and pulling you closer by the waist, his mouth remains tender in its movements and his touch careful and feather-like, as though he’s holding something invaluable.

there is no sparks or burning ache, no bubble of excitement or tinge of desperation that has you clutching for more, but there’s a feeling of relief, of content that settles in your chest, and warmth that spreads through your body that makes you not want to let go.

it’s calm and real and grounding, and just… so very suho.

no, it’s nothing like in fiction, you think, or the plenty of times you’ve imagined what a kiss with him would feel like, one wherein fireworks dance behind your eyelids, or you’re spinning above the clouds. it’s nothing like that.

but it’s perfect.

and yet.

yet why his name is in your mind at this second, why you still can’t help but wonder if such dream-like kiss exists in reality is a frustration to you. even this seemingly perfect moment has somehow provoked the thought of him, just like all the other times in the past you’ve tried getting with another boy but heaven forbade you to.

him, whose presence is merely a few feet away, whose heart you’ve unknowingly decimated, shattered severely upon witnessing this moment, and if you just looked to your left you’d see the hurt that’s broadcast clearly on his face.

what with the interruptive thoughts, you’re the first to pull away from the kiss, eyes temporarily wide as you try to read his expression, but you’re unable to when you’re confused with your feelings yourself. all you know is that right now, you’re looking at him and seeing him in a completely different light - as if all colors had traded places or been imbued with a new property, that nothing feels quite the same anymore. in a good way, you hope. for now it feels so.

you blink once, twice, before you let go of the grip on his collar and suho’s arms slowly leave your waist. you take notice of the red in his cheeks and there’s no doubt, with the way they’re burning, that yours are mirroring them as well.

and for the first time… seojun feels like crying. he’s seen everything for sure, not having torn his eyes off the scene for at least a second. even now, he’s watching as suho lingers in front of your gate after you’ve gone inside, perhaps trying to process what had just transpired between you, perhaps feeling the exact opposite of what seojun is going through - intolerable, gut-wrenching pain, without exaggeration.

it’s the finality that hurts.

because, to seojun, more than the romantic heartbreak of finding you lips-to-lips with another man (suho, to be exact), this is the final fragment of the realization that you absolutely didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

that night had been the end of your friendship. seojun can still remember the panic he went through the first time he realized that. but despite knowing that you hated him, what had gotten him through all these weeks was the tiny shred of hope that he still held onto - one of these days you were going to miss him, forgive him, or at least tell him that you were willing to hear him out.

because that was the kind of bond that you had. at least, that was how he’d read it - past the playful acts and teasing remarks was the promise of an unflinching friendship, of always having each other’s back, of finding home in one another. as cliche as it sounds, he’d always felt that there was some kind of invisible string that tied you together - you were each other’s person, and being separated from each other felt like walking around in half.

but seeing you here was what killed that illusion of hope for seojun. it finally hit him that he no longer held any place in your life.

for real.

on the other hand, you’re wondering just how much different things would have turned out, if it had been him all along. lee suho.

it should have been him.

he’s attractive, he’s kind, he’s sensible, he’s great to have around, and he even does all of these sweet things for you. not just the big favors, but also the minor, missable gestures from him during your moments together that he thinks you don’t notice.

plus, he’s never judged you even though he knows you inside out, to the point that it annoys you sometimes, how you could never hide anything from him. you know you need that though - someone who could see right through you despite your stubbornness to express your feelings.

but most importantly, that kiss. who knew, that you and him could ever share something like that? suho, out of all people. up until that moment, you’d only ever seen and treated him as a friend. almost a sibling even.

but that’s exactly why these thoughts should be making you feel guilty, improper. like they always did with seojun.

and yet somehow, they don’t.

suho had been the first to lean in, after all.

of course, neither of you had meant it to happen. you know how much suho likes jugyeong - you’ve seen it. having spent a lot of time with him lately too, it’s obvious that his feelings for the girl haven’t changed a bit.

clearly, it shouldn’t have meant anything. it was no more beyond a mere lapse of judgment. admittedly, you’d been momentarily swayed by the way he had looked at you then… it was alien to you. sure, you’ve had guys stare at you with want before, but none of them had ever looked at you the way suho did in that moment - like there was a need, an ache to kiss you.

and it doesn’t matter if you’d read it wrong, if it had been fleeting, or if you’d both just simply misplaced your feelings for other people, each been craving affection from someone that wasn’t available as the other had been in that moment. what matters is the plain fact that suho sees you as a woman. and if you’re not mistaken, there was definitely something in that kiss - a mutual undercurrent of something you can’t quite name but, dare you say it, held the potential to bloom into something more if you both wanted to. if you were both willing to try.

the thought of it is enough to stir something inside you.

you enter the studio later than you’re supposed to for no reason other than you’d accidentally slept through your alarm after spending the whole night awake. you mumble your apologies to nobody in particular as you make your way to set your things down on one of the tables, camera flashes and shutter clicks as well as you’re doing great, fantastic! turn around, good! and other words of encouragement from the photographer filling the room as usual.

you try to regain your breath for a moment after having run all the way here, searching the contents of your bag for your water bottle until you hear something that causes your head to snap up immediately.

“…han seojun! one, two - looks great! now smile for me!”

your eyes grow wide when they land on the man posing in front, blinking hard as though that would make him disappear, and he would’ve seen the embarrassing look on your face if you weren’t quick to snap out of it just right before his eyes meet yours. seojun’s posture visibly slackens when he sees you. you watch as the photographer continues to click his camera at every second even as his instructions go ignored.

“handsome, isn’t he?” your co-worker whispers from beside you when she notices you staring, nudging your arm teasingly. “everyone loves him here.”

you break your eye contact with the apparent celebrity to look at your co-worker. “r- really? is he always, um, around?”

the girl nods. “lately he hasn’t been, but yeah, you’ll see him often,” she says before sending you a wink, “you’d have to get in line though.”

you mouth a knowing “ah” in response as you force out a laugh before returning your gaze to the photoshoot - cut short due to the model’s sudden lack of attention - when you find two pairs of eyes looking back at you, the photographer having turned around after hearing seojun mumble your name to himself.

“oh? y/n, you’re finally here?” the older man greets, gesturing you to come closer before turning to seojun. “you know her? you know each other?”

you stop right in front of them and spare the boy a glance to check his response but he doesn’t answer, eyes settled on something else at the opposite side of the room. you give the older man a polite bow.

“ahhh,“ the man nods as though he’s realized something obvious. he points a finger at you. “are you his girlfriend?”

the random question has you both reacting immediately, seojun’s head whipping to face the other man as he opens his mouth to say something, but you were quicker to exclaim a defensive ”no!“ while waving your hands to stress your denial, causing the boy to feel offended somehow. you swallow your discomfort when he finally turns to you with a look that’s nothing short of a glare.

“hyung, can we just hurry to the next shoot?” seojun asks impatiently.

what if you quit your job on the spot?

you consider the option.

“alright,” the man replies, patting the younger’s shoulder twice in agreement. “go get changed then. y/n will help you. we’ll get the set ready.”

and so now, you’re outside the men’s room, anxiously flittering back and forth as you wait for seojun to finish, a ready-to-be-worn grey coat in your hand along with a few makeup you’ve been told to bring with. you freeze as soon as you hear the cubicle open and you will your heart to calm for the last time.

“here,” you mumble as soon as he comes out, holding the piece of clothing up on either side so seojun can slip his arms in, which he does reluctantly.

the short silence is deafening. this being your first interaction in a long time, you feel a lump form in your throat at the rush of different conflicting emotions suddenly vying for your attention.

the past few weeks have been up and down. throughout its course, you have loved, hated, wanted, resented, and missed the man, questioned the rightness or wrongness of your decision to end the friendship, and so on… you couldn’t be consistent.

right now, it’s all at once.

but even if you can’t will your heart to tone down these feelings, or temporarily forget about them just long enough to get you through the afternoon, at least you’ll outwardly pretend they don’t exist. that much, you can do.

“hold on,” you stop seojun by the arm just as he’s about to walk away. you reach out to fix the back of his collar that’s been folded wrong with an impassive face and the little courage you’ve mustered, missing the way his body tenses at your touch and proximity…

when you’re done, you attempt to smoothen the wrinkles of his clothing next by swiftly brushing your hand through them until you feel yourself starting to become a little too comfortable with your actions. you allow yourself a singular glance at his face and you’re met with a gaze that almost already has the surface of your resolve breaking.

applying the powder onto his face is even more agonizing. you try to avoid eye contact with him as much possible, patting down on his skin with utmost gentleness so contrary to the raging emotions bottled within you. you feel his unmoving stare burning through your skin and you’re thinking maybe, for once, he’s actually able to see right through you.

maybe right now he could tell, that one right or wrong word from him could easily have you crawling through hot coals just to take him back.

and it also doesn’t help that he smells so damn good.

you try to make it quick.

handing seojun the lip balm next (surely, he can do it by himself), you step back to a safer distance when you hear a booming voice that causes you to jump.

“perfect! you look perfect! y/n,” the photographer beams as he approaches you, having just witnessed the entirety of your wordless exchange with the other. “how would you like to do the photoshoot with us?”

you raise your eyebrows in confusion the same time you hear the man beside you utter a loud “what?”, you glance at him and see disapproval written all over his face.

“but i already am…?”

ignoring the younger’s reaction, the photographer shakes his head when he says, “i mean, as a model.”

you gasp incredulously before waving your hands in refusal. “me? no, no way, i can’t. i’m sorry.”

“the other model didn’t show up,” he continues, “and we need to update the newly released product, so it’s kind of urgent.”

“hyung,” seojun interrupts, “not everyone can be a model!”

you feel your heart sting at his words, but as much as it offends you, he has a point. “he’s right… i shouldn’t. i’ve never tried this before.”

“that’s why you can do even better,” the older man encourages. “and i’ll pay you more, don’t worry.”

so here you are. the photoshoot is nothing less than unpleasant, awkward. the man beside you is fuming with annoyance - you can almost physically feel the heat of it. but it’s not like you don’t like this idea any less than he does, you just simply couldn’t turn down the money.

you just wish he would stop acting like a kid and at least look at the camera. what are you even supposed to do with him just standing there, put your arms around him? no way.

and so after several attempts by the photographer, like a mother to a child, at getting seojun to smile, turn around, look friendly, anything… to no avail, he deduces that seojun’s defiance is simply due to hunger, so he calls for a ten-minute break where he can grab him food.

when the man leaves, seojun lets out an exasperated sigh you feel the urge to roll your eyes at. he takes a seat on the couch behind you just as one of the other ladies in the room comes to set down a box of tissue on the table. you mutter a polite thanks.

after yourself, you grab the box and offer it to seojun, who only stares at the thing before looking away. honestly… you’re kinda thankful for his stubborn attitude. because being annoyed is better, far more tolerable than having to acknowledge what you actually feel deep down. you can save that for later.

frustratedly, you sigh when you take it upon yourself to pull out a tissue for him and wipe away his sweat, only to be stopped when he seizes your wrist and looks you up and down - like you’re nothing more than a nuisance. “what are you doing?”

you try not to be intimidated by his glare as you try to resist his grip. “did you not hear what she said? it’s so you’ll look nice in the photos.”

“forget it,” he says, pushing your hand further from his face. “go away.“

you exhale impatiently. “will you stop being difficult? it’s not like i’m doing this because i want to—”

once again, seojun is quick to take hold of your wrist, but this time he looks pissed enough to render you silent.

“i said stop.” a tense beat of silence before he continues, “is this that easy for you?”

you feel the air around you change at his words. your heartbeat starts to quicken at the sudden unease that coils in your belly. all the more so, when you find yourself pinned against the couch in the next second, seojun’s face merely a few inches above yours that you almost don’t hear it, over the thunderous pounding of your heart in your ears, when he says, “how long will you keep this up?”

you swallow nervously.

there it is - the confrontation you’ve been fearing.

but how are you supposed to answer, when the proximity of your faces is past the bounds of your being able to think straight?

in response, all you can do is stare at seojun wide-eyed and dumbfounded, much to his disappointment - especially when the interruption of the older man, who is more than enthusiastic to see you in perfect position (“that’s what i’m talking about!”), gives you the opportunity to look away and avoid the question further.

the next thing you know, seojun is hoisting you upright by the waist until your chests are almost pressed against each other, feeling his breath on your skin when he tells you, “i want to make this quick, so just cooperate.“

all throughout the shoot, seojun wordlessly directs you like the natural he is, like when he guides your arm around his shoulder, or when he angles his body or tilts his head towards yours… he makes it so every pose looks and feels as if your bodies had been made to fit together perfectly.

the more clicks and flashes, the more entangled with each other you become, the faster you feel your heart beat. he does everything so casually - and yet every touch lingers, tingles where it just left, somehow different from any of the platonic touches he’s initiated before… somehow feels achingly right.

soon, he’s pushing you as he leans forward, more gently than the first time, and when your back hits the sofa, your eyes lock in a silent exchange beyond your lagging mind’s comprehension. seojun’s gaze remains steady on yours, unwavering even as he brings your hand onto his shoulder where it rests uneasy.

at this point, it feels as if your heart is about to thump right out of your chest, or jump out of your throat. by now you’ve already drowned out your surroundings, entrapped in a bubble only you two shared and smelled only of his cologne. you try not to give yourself away under his intense scrutiny, eyes continuously flickering between yours…

shamelessly, they cast downwards, landing on your lips as you hold your breath…. and when he starts to lean in -

that’s when it becomes unbearable. thankfully, the oblivious photographer is there to yell out the end of the shoot right when you need it, there to remind you that this is only a photoshoot. but before that, seojun’s lips had only been merely a few millimeters apart from yours - one millisecond away from who knows what…

you have to get out of there, you think.

because now any progress - every painstaking step you’d taken at overcoming your unrequited feelings, your all-consuming pining for the man, in the previous weeks avoiding him for that purpose had been for nothing. so easily as you’d expected, seojun just shattered your carefully constructed but fragile barriers into heartbreaking fragments… so obliviously too.

you push him off of you immediately and head out of the room without a word, but one question in your mind.

why had he looked at you like that?

“i need relationship advice.”

jugyeong’s eyes widen, food halfway to her mouth. relationship is the least of the things she’d suspected seojun to be bothered by right now, especially with him denying that he liked anyone just a few weeks ago. “oh? what? really? i’m not really an expert on this subject though,” she says in a pout, but later sets down her chopsticks to give the other man her full attention. “lay it on me. i’ll try and be helpful.”

slowly, seojun swallows his food before he muses, “there’s this girl i like…” jugyeong nods at him to keep going. “but i’m going to move on.”

“huh? why? have you told her how you feel?”

seojun chuckles, “no.”

the girl frowns disappointedly. “but you’re already moving on?”

seojun smiles sadly to himself at the brief recall of memories, all pointing to one person. your unforgettable reaction that night when he’d confidently put you in suho’s friendzone, your description of your type in men (which, at one point in the past weeks, he’d foolishly hoped matched him), and that kiss. the kiss that cemented all his suspicions. the kiss you’d appearingly enjoyed with the other person then, versus the vivid memory of you pushing him off to get away from just him, after that photoshoot. “she likes someone else.”

the words leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

jugyeong blinks before straightening up in her seat. “do you like her a lot?”

“yeah…” seojun hums with another smile despite the heavy weight in his chest. “a lot.”

“so what if she likes somebody else? i didn’t expect you to be the type to give up on someone so easily.”

seojun stares at the clueless girl in guilt when he says, “but he likes her too.”

if only jugyeong knew.

“still. it’s not too late if they aren’t dating yet,” she argues, though the boy seems to have already given up on the girl in question. jugyeong sighs in understanding before flashing her friend a smile in attempt to lift his mood. “she must be some girl for you to have a crush on,” she teases, “she must be beautiful.”

seojun hums in agreement. “she is,” he says, chuckling to himself, “i have high standards, you know.”

“seriously,” jugyeong scolds, “then you should tell her soon and make her your girlfriend.”

seojun smiles weakly. “do you think… she would come to me if i did?”

turning your head to acknowledge the sudden appearance of your friend, your eyes follow suho as he takes a seat beside you in the nearly empty library. “how’d you know i was here?”

“where else would you be, cutting school?” he retorts, causing you to scowl.

“why, you don’t think i can do that?” you bite back defensively, slamming your book shut and pushing it aside so you can rest your cheek on the palm of your hand to look at the boy with full attention.

suho shrugs, “but you’d rather be doing homework. am i not right?”

“tch,” you utter in defeat, the corners of your mouth twitching as you try to hold back a smile. “am i that boring?”

“who says you are?“ he frowns, quick to react as though you’d offended him, “you’re far from boring.”

you blink, feeling your heart stutter over his simple words.

it’s always like this. you showing the slightest hint of self-doubt, self-deprecation - even jokingly - and suho catching you off-guard with a compliment or reassurance that always leaves you feeling a little bit better about yourself, sometimes special, even. and you never have to question the sincerity behind his words like you often would with other people, because he just always is, when it comes to you. it’s like he genuinely believes you’re special, and it’s his duty to make you know so.

but you don’t think it’s ever been like this. never been accompanied by a hint of that all-too-familiar feeling… one you were actually starting to think only seojun was capable of evoking, no one else. and yet here it is. faint, but there.

feeling all of a sudden uneasy under your stare, suho shifts in his seat, tearing his eyes off you to search for something to talk about. “what’s that?” he blurts, pointing to something behind you.

“hmm?” you hum, still tranced, sliding your arm off the table to look at the object of his attention: a cute medium-sized, pastel-colored paper bag that’s been sitting atop the table along with the rest of your belongings.

“oh, this…” your lips curl into a fond smile, briefly glancing at the bag’s contents even if you’d already taken a look at them earlier - candies, snacks, a pocket-sized stuffed animal meant to make you smile, along with a small thank you note, for being such a kind person, it says. “a gift.”

“gift to whom…?”

“from,” you correct, chewing on your bottom lip in a moment of contemplation before you continue, “from jugyeong.“

carefully, you gauge his expression and catch as it flickers with sadness that almost has you reaching out to comfort him, but, similarly, you feel something knot in your own chest at the thought of the girl as well.

jugyeong, who always smiled at you at every given opportunity, just as how seeing her always made you smile, too. earlier, she’d come to you and asked you to stick your hand out for a gift - a gift you didn’t quite deserve, honestly.

you’d seen her bare face, kept your promise not to tell anyone, but haven’t you just been doing what a normal person should? just why would you go around telling other people another person’s business, anyway?

and so at that moment, you understood - why everyone seemed to adore the girl. not only was she pretty enough to attract a lot of eyes, but she also had a beautiful, bright personality that unfailingly caught people’s hearts as well. yours wasn’t an exception. and neither was seojun’s or suho’s.

she reminds you of seyeon just a little bit.

lately, you’ve been finding yourself wanting to be around the girl, wanting to strike up a conversation, just genuinely wanting to be her friend. but, understandably, jugyeong was almost never alone. there was always sua, soojin… seojun.

of course.

no matter how much you’ve grown to like the girl, there is still that ache, the pang of jealousy that always came at the thought of her.

and now there is also that guilt…

slowly, your gaze shifts to suho when your train of thought leads you back to him. surprisingly, since that day, nothing has changed in the way you got along with each other. and as much as a relief it is to you that whatever happened hadn’t ruined your precious friendship, you can’t help the questions that still linger in your mind - can’t keep pretending like nothing happened.

”h- hey, um,” you begin, clearing your throat awkwardly and immediately catching the boy’s attention. his eyes flicker downwards, where he finds your hands starting to pick at the loose threads of your uniform. and just as he expects, “about the other day…”

for a few seconds, suho’s eyes linger on yours before they trail away and settle on something else at a distance. he looks neither tense or awkward, just calm, as though he’s already prepared himself for this conversation.

the truth is, he has. he’s thought about it more times than he could count in the past few days, replayed the scene over and over. he’s wondered what it meant for both you and him, if it would change anything, if he wanted to do anything about it… how much he liked it… and why he’d done it in the first place.

at that time, the urge to kiss you had been so strong. after all, his feelings for you had once been fiery and consuming long time ago. perhaps seojun acknowledging them all of a sudden had opened the cap of where they had previously been safely contained, and caused some them to resurface.

if he’d ever thought about making a move or confessing to you in the past, he had. several times. however, it wasn’t hard for him to tell then that his best friend liked you, too, just as how it was easy to figure out that you felt the same about the other.

that was the reason why he’d kept those feelings hidden well - he didn’t want to get in the way.

eventually, they died down, anyway. eventually, the ache of seeing his two best friends’ oblivious pining for each other became more bothersome than the ache of not having his feelings reciprocated by you. and that goes on until now - seeing you heartbroken these days just because the other boy was still failing to realize his own feelings frustrated him, too.

but he knows, deep down, seojun will come through. he just needs to come to his senses.

“it didn’t mean anything,” you say, voice breaking through his thoughts, “right?“

no. suho wants to say no. it did mean something to him. and the glint of hope in your eyes at the moment makes him want to tell the truth all the more - makes him think he actually stands a chance.

“yeah…” suho finally answers.

because despite all the uncertainty, one thing that’s clear to him is that in the past few days he’s been trying to understand his own heart, one person’s name had been insistent, loud and unignorable. that girl, he misses more than anything. and he knows, for sure, that this is the one thing he’d definitely regret not doing about if he didn’t. not him failing to confess to you.

once again, silence fills the air, and you feel the slightest disappointment in your stomach over this confirmation.

but that however doesn’t last long when you feel it quickly being replaced by relief. acceptance. you feel at ease - like a weight you didn’t know you’d been holding has been lifted off your chest.

you feel a little bit funny for having actually hoped for something else, too. because somehow, all of a sudden, that kiss, and all the thoughts and temporary feelings that came with it, feel like a distant memory to you now.

to suho, it would take a little more time to forget completely, but for now he feels the same relief as you do.

slowly, your mouth lifts into a genuine smile. “okay…”

you feel warmth spread across your chest when suho returns it. all the more so when his shoulders start to shake in a silent chuckle, eyes crinkling just a tiny bit more.

“okay.”

time heals, but it could also fester.

after having only told yourself things like pain is temporary and things just have to get worse before they get better in the past few weeks, you’re finally admitting to yourself that this isn’t it.

it’s always when you reach your bedroom at the end of the day where you let yourself crumble. you can’t count with all your fingers and toes the amount of times these four walls have witnessed you desperately reach out for your phone to call the boy. only almost. because every time, you managed to talk yourself out of it.

but as your mind continuously repeats suho’s words this afternoon, you realize just how much you’ve actually been waiting to hear it.

i think you should talk to seojun.

after all, it’s been a month and the ache still hasn’t gotten easier. the sad, dull ache - the longing for that person that seems to always permeate everything in the end, no matter how much you try to distract yourself from it.

isn’t confession the only thing that’s left?

or maybe you just need more time. another month, perhaps…

but no. seojun deserves to know the truth. one hundred percent of it. it’s what you both deserve anyway. you’re going to confess, have him reject you, and then you’ll finally be able to move on.

what have you got to lose now, anyway?

your thumbs hover over your keyboard.

but just as you’re about to compose your text, three dots suddenly appear at the bottom of your messages, indicating that the other is typing. you almost drop your phone at the sight.

your heart hammers against your rib cage as you spend a whole minute watching as those dots keep disappearing and reappearing on your screen. you wait for what feels like forever, until the words finally arrive, message unexpectedly short for the amount of time it had taken the other:

can we talk?

bff!seojun headcanons (bonus) | part nine

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #lee suho #han seojun #tbhc #moon gayoung #im jukyung #lim jugyeong #hwang in yeop

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